abandoned to Christ.

Walmart has pulled a toddler Halloween costume off their shelves after receiving many complaints by outraged parents who deemed the costume as inappropriately sexual for children.

The name of the costume is "Naughty Leopard", but as you can see, the actual costume itself isn't sexual or even slightly immodest. As a matter of fact, it has more material on it than most women wear, as well a what most parents dress their little girls in.

The dictionary definition and common understanding of the word naughty is "disobedient; mischievous (used especially in speaking to or about children)."

I honestly find this parental outrage quite hypocritical. Let me tell you why. Parents dress their babies, toddlers, children and even teen girls in clothes that are highly sexual, extremely provocative and yet, because the label that's on the name of the shirt, dress, skirt, etc. doesn't have a "naughty" name attached to it, it's okay.

Have we as parents really become that easily duped, or have we wrongly mirrored our overly sexualized hearts and minds onto a children's costume label?

When I think of a "naughty" leopard, the first thought that pops into my mind is that of a feline getting into a mess, tearing things up, chewing or clawing on what they ought not, etc. The thought of a naughty leopard does not however, for me, conjure any sexual imagery. Not to say my mind is purer than others, as I know for a fact it's filled with just as many evil (if not more) thoughts and ideas as all people; for only Jesus Christ the Lord has the perfect and pure heart and mind (Prov 20:9, Mk 10:18).

Sadly, skimpy bikinis, low-cut shirts, short shorts, outfits exposing the midriff and other overtly sexual clothing designs are a norm for baby, toddler, elementary-aged and teen girls and women. I intended to include photos to prove this travesty, but after considering what the benefit might be, I realized that no one reading this article needs any more convincing than what's already displayed in most stores and ads.

Where's the parental outrage against all these stores that are littered with sexually provocative clothing for their daughters?

Disapproval of the label on a piece of clothing rather than the actual content and design proves that the problem is not with the external usage, but with the internal aspects of the human heart and mind.

"But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. These are what defile a person. But eating with unwashed hands does not defile a person...Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. You blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and the plate, that the outside also may be clean."

~Matt 15:18-20, 23:25-26 (ESV)

In the passages above, our Lord Jesus is making it clear that our worldview and how we choose to live is not defined by external appearances (the outside of the cup and plate), but our lives are defined by what's in our hearts and minds (the inside of the cup and plate). How we chooose to live both in public and private is God's way of revealing to us and to others what it is we truly believe rather than what we merely profess to believe; for how a person daily lives is proof of what they believe (Lk 6:45, 1 John 5:3-4).

Understanding that the outrage regarding Walmar'ts "Naughty Leopard" costume proves the provocative nature of our hearts, let us consider a more superior and long-lasting resolution to this problem rather than the temporary one of merely pulling this costume off the shelves of a store.

Beloved sisters, let us not dress to impress or please ourselves, men or even to get compliments from girlfriends. Let us first dress our hearts to honor God, always seeking first His kingdom and righteousness (Matt 6:33). Then, let us dress our bodies in a manner that communicates we're daughters of the King of kings and Lord of lords―well cared for, with no bells and whistles that attract attention to our physical attributes, but with a quiet inner beauty that displays the invisible and glorious attributes of God. Then, let us, in word and deed, teach our daughters to do the same.

And Christian dads, daily show your daughters God's love for them; always exemplyfing her inner beauty (share specific character qualities you see in her e.g., humilty, servant's heart, friend of the friendless, gentleness, etc.) rather than over-emphasizing her exterior beauty. Tell her she's beautiful...because God made her that way, and not because of any adornment the world has to offer her. Give her the kind of attention that pleases the Lord and don't be afraid to lovingly disapprove of any ungodly internal or external behavior. If you invest this kind of quality time with your daughter, she will be attracted to men with character and integrity rather than men who merely look good on the outside but lack any valuable attributes.

"Fathers [and mothers] do not provoke your children to anger [sin], but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." ~Ephesians 6:4 (ESV)

Early last week, I had the special blessing of attending a luncheon with Keith and Kristyn Getty at Redeemer Seminary in Dallas, Texas. Then, the very next day, God increased my blessing by allowing me to interview this lovely couple.

It's always a joy when the Lord connects me with saints in Christ who love the Him and are devoted to His Kingdom work with humility and integrity.

I really can't say enough about how genuinely kind, down-to-earth and pleasant both Keith and Kristyn are.

"Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interest of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus"

~Philippians 2:3-5

My interview with Keith and Kristyn reminded me our heavenly Father's command to love Him with everything we have and love others as Christ has loved us. I was greatly encouraged by their prominent love for Christ, His people, and for the lost.

What made you decide to write modern-day hymns? Why not be another Christian pop-artist?

We saw such a need for a new canon of hymnity. The Bible is readily available in many languages, but many Christians still remain biblically illiterate. We want to write lyrics that are theologically sound because, just like we are what we eat, we are what we sing too. People have a strong relationship with songs. What someone chooses to listen to says a lot about who they are and what matters most to them.

I agree. We have so much access to biblical teaching: books, sermons, online access, etc., but we don't use these resources as much as we could. Or if we do, we seek to find resources that are a quick fix for whatever ails us, rather than doing things the old way...just read the Scriptures.

When you first came to the US, you were at Alistair Begg's church. How did that happen and how and why did you move to Nashville, Tennessee?

We lived in Switzerland for the first year of our marriage. During that year, we made two tours to the US and Alistair saw us there. He also saw us in concert when he was in Switzerland once. We just kept bumping into him.

Alistair said he loved our hymns and wanted to support our ministry if we ever moved to America. So in 2006, we moved to America and made Parkside our home church for four and a half years.

When we wanted to start having a family, we didn't know if we would live in the UK, Ohio or Nashville. We wanted to have a bus family and felt we needed to get our creative juices rolling in new ways, so we chose to move to Nashville where we could learn more about the organizing and administrative part of music. It was almost like going back to school.☺

Two days after we arrived in Nashville, I got pregnant.☺

We've been in Nashville for three years now and we've met some great people and have been able to grow as a result of being there.

{Keith had to leave the interview at this point because he had a very important appointment to go swimming with their precious daughter Eliza. I told him that Daddy-Daughter appointments always trump interviews.}

Wow. God's ways and timing is always perfect! So, how often do you travel and how does that affect "normal" family life?

We love to travel because we get to travel together as a family. Eliza loves traveling too. We only travel 12 weeks out of the year: Fall Tour, Christmas Tour and Spring Tour. We tour primarily in the US, although we have done some UK tours. We can't commit to too many international tours since we're in the little kiddie years and having babies makes it difficult to travel internationally.☺

I bet it does. What a special blessing from the Lord that you get to work in a ministry you love and do it with the people you love. God is exceedingly kind!

Kristyn, as a wife and mother in ministry, how do you balance and maintain being a biblically submissive wife while being your husband's ministry partner?

I grew up with a dad who was a pastor and a mom who was a teacher. I grew up with the strong sense as my dad as the head of the family. I grew up with strong male leadership and have a strong leading husband who's an absolute pleasure and challenge to follow.☺ I want Eliza to grow up having this too.

When I stand up and sing I'm doing that with my husband...so I already have my headship there and really, we're doing it together.

Amen sister! I've loved watching you these past two days and how you interact with Keith and Eliza. I've been very encouraged by your biblical submission through your actions and words. Your love and respect for your husband is evident and it's truly the beautiful thing God talks about in 1 Peter 3.

Now, back to a musical question. Do you have any advice for Christian lyricists/musicians?

Whatever you put your hand to, it is important to stay close and accountable to your pastor and local church as well as maintaining a healthy devotional life—this helps keep the main things the main things.

In terms of writing songs specifically, find ways to keep the well of creativity within you replenished so you have something to draw from—through reading, conversation, personal study and reflection, and different creative works around you. Also, try and cultivate a vulnerability around people you trust to speak into your work. It can be painful and frustrating but more often than not, it makes the outcome better!

Is there a Scripture or passage you'd like to share with my readers?

Yes. "Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him." ~Colossians 3:16-17

Above is a music video of one of the songs we sang at the luncheon. I absolutely fell in love with this hymn and wanted to share it with all of you, so we, as children of the Most High God, can join together, with one voice and praise His holy and awesome name!

What shall I render to the LORD for all His benefits to me? I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the LORD, I will pay my vows to the LORD in the presence of all His people.

~Psalm 116:12-14

Below are the lyrics to the hymn "My Heart is Filled with Thankfulness" if you'd like to sing along.

My heart is filled with thankfulness

To Him who bore my pain;

Who plumbed the depths of my disgrace

And gave me life again;

Who crushed my curse of sinfulness

And clothed me in His light

And wrote His law of righteousness

With pow'r upon my heart.

My heart is filled with thankfulness

To Him who walks beside;

Who floods my weaknesses with strength

And causes fears to fly;

Whose ev'ry promise is enough

For ev'ry step I take,

Sustaining me with arms of love

And crowning me with grace.

My heart is filled with thankfulness

To him who reigns above,

Whose wisdom is my perfect peace,

Whose ev'ry thought is love.

For ev'ry day I have on earth

Is given by the King;

So I will give my life, my all,

To love and follow him.

The Getty's are expecting their second daughter to arrive in just a couple of months. Please keep them all in your prayers.

Keith and Kristyn will return to the Dallas, Texas area on Thursday, October 3, 2013 and will have a concert at the Meyerson Symphony Center at 8:00 p.m.

To purchase tickets for this event, click the following link: http://gettymusic.com/tour.aspx. When purchasing tickets, use the promotional code: R777 to get any seat for $20.00.

I mentioned in my last article, most of the public shaming implemented as a form of discipline have been exacted on daughters and not sons. So I want to take some time to shed light on why this is harmful to our girls and what they need to help them better understand who they are and why they exist.

First and foremost, our children, sons or daughters are not here to make up for any loss childhood dreams we’ve had. They were not created so we can boast about what great parents we are. And lastly, God never created them so that we can somehow feel “whole”.

God created every human being to know Him, His love and everlasting life through repentance and faith in His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. Knowing the purpose in which they were created by our Creator, our primary goal as parents ought to be to share the Gospel with them, shower them with God’s grace and mercy and demonstrate in life and speech, what it means to live in the freedom Christ has given all who believe (Rom 6:6-7, 12-14).

God instructs us in His Word that we, the parents are to diligently disciple, that is, train up and teach our own children rather than expect the church, school curriculum or other outside influences to do it (Deut 6:5-9). While all these extra-familial sources may help guide a child, it is the parents primary responsibility to love, lead, train and protect.

When we neglect to obey God and apply the wisdom we can readily find in His Word, we exasperate our children and make them prone to anger and acts of rebellion.

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord...Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.”

~Ephesians 6:4, Colossians 3:21

God designed girls more delicately, and therefore we’re more easily bruised in every way: physically, emotionally and spiritually. God made females to be more relational than males and therefore, we require more stability and security in our lives—especially within our relationships. When someone breaks trusts with us, it’s very damaging and something very difficult to recover from.

When females are injured, we tend to react in extremes. We either completely fall apart and into depression, or we buck up and try to behave more like a man with a “take charge” attitude in order to protect ourselves since there doesn’t seem to be anyone else who’s willing to shield us from life’s pains.

Realizing this about girls, I find it disheartening that most of these abrasive, public shaming tactics have been used on precious, vulnerable and troubled girls.

Moms today seem to be so busy trying to remain looking and feeling youthful themselves, they behave more like their daughter’s competitor than their biggest cheerleader, confidant; and the older, wiser woman that every gal needs in her life...no matter her age (Titus 2:3-5).

Us moms need to remember what it was like for us when we were their age and how we felt about ourselves, the world around us, and the confusion about how exactly we fit in.

Dads neglect to spend enough quality time with their girls because they feel uncomfortable playing with dolls or doing other “girly” things. But girls aren’t one dimensional. We enjoy many other things like: dressing up and going to a play, having a nice “Daddy and Daughter Date Night”, going to the zoo while holding hands with Daddy, laughing together while having a tickle fight or enjoy snuggling with homemade popcorn and her favorite movie and so much more.

Dads need to stop making their girls feel like they need to be more like boys to get their father’s attention or approval. And mom’s need to stop making their girls feel “less than” in order to keep them in line.

Both mothers and fathers need to make sure their girls feel like a princess by treasuring them; telling her you love her at least a million times a day; daily complimenting her appearance, attitude, or whatever else you can find to encourage her...be creative!

Us parents need to aspire to have open, honest and friendly relations with our children, without ever becoming their “buddy” and wanting our kids to think we’re “cool”...that’s what their peers are for. For more on this, read, “Christian Parenting Goals 101”.

Much like our relationship with God, our children should fear us, but they shouldn’t be afraid of us. Reverent fear comes from love and respect. Being afraid comes from lack of trust and unhealthy fear that someone will do us harm. A child should never feel that way about a parent.

Loving our children doesn’t mean we always agree with them, it means we love them whether they do good or evil and we sacrificially spend ourselves to do whatever it takes, regardless of what it might cost us, to reach them for Christ. That’s what godly love looks like: it sacrifices for others and is willing to endure shame (like Christ on the Cross for our sake) for the greater benefit of others...not the other way around.

God’s powerful love is true, strong and stable like a rock. The world’s “love” is false, ooshy gooshy and has the viscosity of mud. Give your children God’s love and read your Bibles and get discipled by others who’ve gone ahead of you, so you can see what godly parenting looks like.

Loving our children means we discipline them daily in accordance with God’s Word, and not just when they do something wrong.

Bottom line: Girls need private and public security, not private and public disgrace.

Below are some good and soundly biblical resources to help parents train up their children in the Way (of Christ) they ought to go.

Parenting Collection - This collection by Pastor-Teacher John MacArthur includes: Crucial Lessons for a Wise Father CD, The Extraordinary Mother (hardcover), Cultivating a Godly Child (booklet), and What the Bible Says About Parenting (softcover).
Parenting God’s Way (booklet) - Alistair Begg
Parental Priorities: God’s Design for the Family CD - Alistair Begg
Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens - Paul David Tripp

May we all, as parents, have a healthy fear of God and remember that our children are not our own, but they were created by God; and one day, we'll have to answer to Him about how we decided to raise them.

I’m sure you’re familiar with the latest story about Utah dad, Scott Mackintosh who donned a pair of homemade Daisy Duke-like shorts while on a family outing, to convince his 19-year-old daughter Myley that her choice of immodest apparel was unacceptable.

Prior to this latest escapade of child-shaming tactics as a form of discipline, there were others.

Back in April 2012, 15-year-old Quandria Bryant of North Carolina was made to carry a sign on Highway 17 in New Bern that said, “I have a bad attitude. I disrespect [sic] people who try to help me.” Her father Donnell employed this public shaming tactic after Quandria was suspended from school for her increasingly disrespectful attitude toward her ninth grade teachers.

My question is, was her dad involved prior to her disrespectful escalation that led to her suspension? As a parent, I know schools don’t do this without some warnings to the student and parents. So what forms of discipline, if any, were incorporated prior to this public shaming?

In March of this year, 13-year-old Kayla Nickell from Crestview, Florida was forced by her parents to hold a sign on the corner of Ferdon Boulevard and U.S. Highway 90 that said, “I’m a Self-entitled teenager w/NO Respect for authority. I’m also super smart, yet I have 3 ‘D’s’ because I DON’T CARE!”

The parents admit Kayla’s increasingly disrespectful attitude along with dropping grades happened after her uncle (whom she was very close to) was killed in December 2011 while serving in Afghanistan.

The Nickells claim they had to do this to Kayla because the loss was difficult for everyone in the family, but Kayla’s the only one who behaved so badly and they felt that “she kind of gave up.” Well of course she did. Isn’t this somewhat of a normal reaction...for anyone, child or adult?

Where’s the sacrificial love and understanding? Was there a family grief counselors involved? Did her parents daily provide her with a non-judgmental and safe place for her to share what she was feeling or thinking, no matter how ugly her thoughts and feelings might’ve been?

The Nickells claim to be Christians, so the greatest confusion I have is why didn’t they search God’s Word for His wise counsel? Why did they prefer to employ a shaming technique suggested by a “parenting coach” when Kayla was seven or eight?

Shortly after this incident, in May 2013, 10-year-old Kaylee was publicly shamed by her father’s long-time companion Ally, because Kaylee was bullying another fourth grader at school for how she dressed. After one reportedly ineffective conversation with Kaylee, Ally resorted to purchasing a wardrobe that would publicly humiliate Kaylee. Ally made her wear them to school for two days so Kaylee could see what it felt like to be bullied and taunted.

My first concern here is, Ally isn’t even Kaylee’s mother...not even her step-mother (which many stories purport, though Ally is not married to Kaylee’s father). Kaylee’s father has full custody of her (a rarity), which obviously means there are painful issue with her biological mother.

My next concern is, why did the teacher email Ally regarding Kaylee’s poor behavior at school, rather than her biological father? And why after only one conversation with a 10-year-old girl that didn’t immediately produce a repentant attitude, cause Ally to decide to publicly shame her as a form of discipline?

My goodness, if these exasperated schemes to discipline, teach a lesson or get a point across were exercised by our employers when we weren’t “getting it” at our jobs, how would that affect us...as adults? I mean, when’s the last time someone corrected you, and you immediately responded with a positive and agreeable attitude? Exactly. Most of us don’t, and we’re adults; yet we expect immature children to respond to difficult situations in life in a manner we don’t even expect from ourselves.

In reality, us adults have a lot of trouble getting through this life without some outbursts of disrespect to authority, allowing our pride to get away with us, refusing help from others and altogether behaving in unacceptable ways.

Though these public shaming campaigns seem to be on the rise and well applauded by both Christians and non-Christians, the question still remains—is it right?

I say it’s not, because I can’t find an example of this in God’s Word.

As a Christian, I’m granted the beautiful comfort and serene joy of knowing that God Almighty alone is perfect, and that His Word details all that any human being needs to navigate well through this life.

“Call to Me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known....The law of the LORD is perfect, reviving the soul; the testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple; the precepts of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart; the commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes; the fear of the LORD is clean, enduring forever; the rules of the LORD are true, and righteous altogether.”

~Jeremiah 33:3, Psalm 19:7-9 (ESV)

I see three important things that appear to have been overlooked or purposely ignored in all the stories of public shaming (which are not exhausted in this article) as a form of discipline.

Most of these public shaming tactics have been exacted on daughters and not sons;
The consideration of each family’s unique dynamics have been neglected;
There’s more concentration on the child’s external behavior rather than on the condition of their heart.

In a day and age where truth is relative—morality, modesty and character seem to also have become…well, relative, and effectually extinct.

So what’s a parent to do? What is proper discipline for rebellious and wayward children? I’ll cover that in my next article, “Discipline: A Parenting Conundrum” which will include encouraging resources for parents to learn how to shape their child's will—leading them to Christ, rather than break their child's will—leading them to destruction.

My Favorite Bible Reading Plan

24-HR Reformation Radio

ABOUT ME

Subscribe

Get new posts by email:

FOLLOW

POPULAR POSTS

My Offerings

Faithful & Trusted Studies

Faithful & Trusted Magazine

Faithful & Trusted Podcasts