When my heart breaks, what do I do? To whom or from where do I first run and seek comfort, protection, warmth, love?

Today, my darling husband and I received a text with enormously distressing news. A text filled with bitterness, slander, ungodly opinions given as facts—falsehood presented as truth and poison poured into an open and already painful wound. A wound that has never been given a chance to recover before more poison is poured into it and thus overruns it.

When a loved one professes Christ, yet considers it a small thing (if he considers it at all) to sin against God; confesses this is wrong, yet remains apathetic, and therefore, continues to sin without cause, what is one to do?

All I had the strength to do, was to cry out, “LORD, help me!” And immediately, the Holy Spirit put Psalm 121 in my mind. So immediately, I opened the Word of my Lord, and this is what I received from Him,

In my distress I called to the LORD,

   and He answered me.
Deliver me, O LORD,

   from lying lips,

   from a deceitful tongue.

What shall be given to you,

   and what more shall be done to you,

   you deceitful tongue?

A warrior’s sharp arrows,

   with glowing coals of the broom tree!

Woe to me, that I sojourn in Meshech,

   that I dwell among the tents of Kedar!

Too long have I had my dwelling

   among those who hate peace.

I am for peace,

   but when I speak, they are for war!

When my darling husband read me the text, my heart sank. My mind fumbled about as it tried to keep up with, and make sense of, the slander and bitterness that was hurled at me…by someone who was once close to me. Someone I once held dear. Someone I have and still do love with all my heart. Someone I pray daily for God’s mercy to bring him to truth.

So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.

~2 Timothy 2:22-26, ESV

Every slander does not need to be addressed. Every emotionally-established and unbiblically-based notion does not require a response.

So to answer my question: What am I to do when my heart breaks? I remember and obey what my great and merciful and perfectly loving God and Father recorded in Psalm 121:1-2, “I lift my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.” And I will wait on the LORD.

Part of my reading and study today was 1 Corinthians 11 and Hebrews 6.

It still awes me to consider how carefully and lovingly the LORD, my God and Father, supplies all I need ever before I know I need it. And by His loving-kindness and faithfulness, He teaches me more about Him as He exalts (by lifting up to Himself) everyone who humbles themselves to seek His face. For a broken spirit and a broken and contrite heart, He will never despise (cf. Ps 51:16-17).

As I type this, my heart is broken and deeply grief-stricken for my loved ones who are far from God. Some who know it, and others who are (more than likely), self-deceived in their religiosity rather than truly saved by the cleansing of their conscience with the blood of Christ Jesus.

Be imitators of me, as I also am of Christ. (1 Corinthians 11:1, NASB95)

The Apostle Paul repeats this commandment from 1 Corinthians 11:1 elsewhere in Scripture—1 Corinthians 4:16, Philippians 3:17-19. We know this commandment is weighty because it is not only a commandment and instruction to all God's children on how to discern who we ought and ought not to imitate, but it is repeated a third time by the writer of Hebrews in Chapter 13 verse 7.

We are commanded, not asked by God Almighty, to avail ourselves to all He has provided us; that we may mature in the Lord Jesus and bear much good fruit (obeying God as Christ)—in His name—for His glory. We are commanded, not asked by the LORD of hosts to imitate and listen to those who speak and act by the power of the Holy Spirit and for the glory of God. We are commanded, not asked by our merciful God and Father to flee from those who speak and act by their opinions and for themselves.

As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. whoever speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as on who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be gloried through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.

~1 Peter 4:10-11

I was with you in weakness and in fear and in much trembling, and my message and my preaching were not in persuasive words of wisdom, but in the demonstration of the Spirit and of power, so that your faith would not rest on the wisdom of men, but on the power of God.

~1 Corinthians 2:3-5

If anyone advocates a different doctrine and does not agree with sound words, those of our Lord Jesus Christ, and with the doctrine conforming to godliness, he is conceited and understands nothing; but he has a morbid interest in controversial questions and disputes about words, out of which arise envy, strife, abusive language, evil suspicions, and constant friction between men of depraved minds and deprived of the truth, who suppose that godliness is a means of gain…But flee from these things, you man of God, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, perseverance and gentleness.

~1 Timothy 6:3-5, 11

But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these…evil men and impostors will proceed from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived.

~2 Timothy 3:1-5, 13

To keep us humble, no matter what spiritual gifts Christ gives or what natural talents and qualities God has created in us, no human being is able to live the holy life God commands, alone or by his/her own opinions of good and evil, wisdom and foolishness.

The only righteous standard is easily found and readily available in the Word of God.

Imitate the speech, deeds, and life-giving ways of those who imitate Christ Jesus. Resolve to accept and earnestly seek the counsel and teaching and rebuke only from those who speak the Word and holy precepts of God Almighty. But in order to discern rightly, read and study the Scriptures others use, to speak, counsel, teach, and rebuke you with, so that like the Bereans (Acts 17:11-12) you may be accepted and commended by God rather than men.

For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ.

~Galatians 1:10

I’m sitting here thinking, “How may I wisely and prudently share all the good the LORD, my God and Father, my Savior, my Rock and my Redeemer—my greatest and preeminent love and life, has done for me?”

It’s not possible to share it all because there’s just not enough time or room in this world to be able to encapsulate the goodness of God in just one little life, for the past 53 years (Ps 40:5). So what shall I share, and how shall I share it? What is most edifying and what is the least useful for you to consume? I want to feed, comfort, and strengthen you with the former rather than starve, discourage, and burden you with the latter.

Thanks be to God for His Holy Spirit who always testifies to Christ!

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” (Eph 4:29) and, “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.” (Ps 19:14) and, “A prudent man conceals knowledge, but the heart of fools proclaim folly.” (Prov 12:23) and, “May my teaching drop as the rain, my speech distill as the dew, like gentle rain upon the tender grass, and like showers upon the herb. For I will proclaim the name of the LORD; ascribe greatness to our God!” (Dt 32:2-3).

After 13 years of brutal beatings and severe persecution because I would not forsake Christ my Lord, by God's magnificent mercy and grace, He's endured me through these past 15 years of constant and often debilitating pain with 20 surgeries (due to damage in most of my organs from the beatings) I want to encourage you with this truth: Suffering is not the worst and dying is not the end.

This testimony of God's grace in the life of our brother Joel Tiegreen (who was called Home to our God and Father and our Lord Jesus Christ a few months after this video was made) has been, and continues to be a great source of comfort and encouragement to me. And I want to share God's kindness to me through this, with all of you.