A Mother's Counsel: Attractive Girls Are a Dime a Dozen

Though God chose all Scripture to be penned by men, He did not decree that all of the wisdom therein, would come only from men. Proverbs 31:10-31 is an acrostic poem based on the Hebrew alphabet; an oracle a mother taught her son. A son, who was a king.

King Lemuel is not mentioned anywhere else in the Bible, except in the opening of this famous passage of a what a biblically submissive woman truly looks like—in spirit, and in the practical applications of her every day life. Most scholars believe King Lemuel is King Solomon (also called Jedidiah) since the names have similar meanings, and King Solomon wrote most of Proverbs. Lemuel means "devoted, or belonging to God" and Jedidiah (Solomon's other name) means "beloved of the LORD (2 Sam 12:25).

While it is uncertain who King Lemuel was, what is certain is that God chose for this wise counsel from a mother to her son, to be recorded—that men may know what a godly woman looks like, and women may know that her greatest "adorning...[is] the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." (1 Pet 3:4).

I read our sons God's Word, in the womb and out. I did this because I knew giving them the Word of God was the greatest way to love, protect, and provide them with everything they need for this life and the next. As soon as a hint of delight and intrigue sparkled in their eyes for the opposite sex, I began to read and teach them Proverbs 31:10-31, Ephesians 5:22-33, 1 Timothy 2:9-15, Titus 2:3-5, and the book of Ruth  (to demonstrate what all these Scriptures looked like in the life of a woman whose first and greatest love is Jesus Christ the Lord). I not only read and taught them the Scriptures of what a woman who loves and fears the Lord looks like, but I also imperfectly endeavored to live it before them.

Additionally, I prayed for our sons to be attracted to women who are most attached to the Lord, and to be repulsed by women who are most attached to this world and their sinful desires. I still pray this now. I've developed a habit of praying for their future wives—that God would protect them from the enemy's schemes, keep them pure, and bless them with wisdom from above. I pray that God gives our sons women whom He deems will be suitable help-meets for our boys, so that they may not be hindered, but rather, encouraged to be the men God commands them to be (Ps 1:1-3). I pray for our sons to find and become one with women of noble character, because they are not a dime a dozen, but are rare treasures—far more precious than any jewel found on this earth. And just as priceless jewels must be sought out with great patience, wisdom and diligence, likewise, I pray my sons will diligently seek to find women who fear the Lord and seek to adorn themselves with good works of faith—for the glory of God, for the welfare of her household, and for the good of the church and community in which she joyfully lives and serves.

I've always told my sons that Christ is my First Love, their Daddy is my Second, and they are both securely tied for Third. They didn't like being told this at first, but as they grew older, they learned the value of having a mother whose love and devotion for Christ is preeminent.

Just as a father must teach and demonstrate what kind of man they want their daughters to be attracted to, likewise, a mother must do the same for her sons.

The idiom, "dime a dozen" is reported to have originated from the 1800s when certain foods like eggs, fruits, etc. were sold for a dime a dozen. It soon became well-known that if you could purchase something for a dime a dozen, it was a very ordinary, common, and ubiquitous item. And therefore, this idiom is still used today with the same purpose and meaning: to describe something that is common and easy to find.

Physically attractive girls are a dime a dozen. Whether you turn on the TV, go to a movie, look at magazines, books, billboards, or walk about any public area, you will find attractive women galore. Women with beautiful eyes, beautiful hair, beautiful figures, etc. Women who are fashionable and avant-garde (unorthodox or daring; radical). These kinds of women are truly a dime a dozen. Though these women's lives are valuable in God's sight and ours, they are common and easy to find because they make themselves common and easy to find by exposing what ought not be exposed and delight in catching the eye of any man...single or married.

But the godly woman is not so easy to find because she doesn't expose herself. She's not wearing skin-tight clothing, detailing every curve of her body. She's not in stiletto heals or short skirts, dresses or shorts in order to bring attention to her legs. She's not wearing gobs of makeup and fake additions to accentuate features she doesn't have (long eyelashes, voluptuous lips, etc.). No, a godly woman who loves and fears the Lord will do all these things differently. She will wear makeup in moderation, she might wear mascara, but not falsies; she may wear blush, but not colors that scream "Hey, look at me! I'm blush!" A godly woman may wear jewelry, but she will not wear something that others will want to steal from her. And she will not wear jewelry that cost her so much, she has nothing to give to the poor and needy.

A godly woman dresses modestly, rather than drably (there is a difference). A woman who fears the Lord dresses outwardly to display what God has done, and is doing, inwardly. Having been saved by God's grace through repentance and faith in Jesus Christ, women who love the Lord outwardly adorn themselves in a way that befits a princess of the King of kings and the Lord of lords. Her outward beauty is simple, so that her greater beauty, the Spirit of Christ within her, can effortlessly shine (2 Cor 4:5-6)!

Because a woman who loves and fears the LORD knows the greatest treasure is within her (the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ), her greatest desire is for this treasure (not herself) to be made known for all the world to see—that all may fear and put their trust in the LORD (Ps 40:3)

So what has been and still is my counsel to my sons until the day the Lord brings them godly women to become one with? It is this: attractive girls are a dime a dozen, but a godly woman is a rare treasure. Like a rare jewel, a woman who loves and fears the Lord is difficult to find, but she is of more value than women who love and fear this world.

Therefore sons, with much prayer, great patience, wisdom, and diligence, seek for yourselves women whose lives (not mere words) radiate these Scriptures, "An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain, She does him good and not harm, all the days of her life." (Prov 31:10-12), "Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates." (Prov 31:30-31), "likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works." (1 Tim 2:9-10).

What are some practical attributes of a woman who adorns herself with good works? She is a humble and faithful student of the Word, a joyful servant of all, a sacrificial giver, she seeks to love others well rather than seeking to be well-loved by others, she's a good listener, a wise counselor (because her counsel will be from God's Word)—these are just a few visible traits of what a godly woman adorns herself with.

And finally sons, if you will not ready yourselves and take seriously what God calls men to be, then be assured, you are not ready to be married to a godly woman...or any woman for that matter. Therefore, pray that God will make you an Ephesians 5:25-33 and 1 Peter 3:7 man, so that He will bring you a Proverbs 31 woman, whose joy and delight will be to love you and your children well, because she loves the Lord Jesus most.

"House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the LORD."
-Proverbs 19:14