abandoned to Christ.

As I shared in my last post, it’s been a very painful and grievous two years due to a thorn wedged into my flesh by Satan; but only by the good and wise permission of my sovereign God and Father—who is using this to conform me all the more into the image of His Son, Christ Jesus my Lord, my First and Greatest Love. But before you take more pity on, or think more highly of me than you ought, I must confess: I am not entirely an innocent “victim”. I played a prominent role in the degree and depth of this pain. I made many foolish decisions, without prayer, that allowed Satan to twist and turn this thorn, further and further into my flesh—causing as much damage, and destroying as many relationships as possible. For foolishly thinking I could handle this situation on my own (Prov 3:5-8), I repent…with much praise and thanksgiving to my compassionate, gracious, and merciful Father who is slow to anger and abounds in steadfast love. I give thanks for the gift of repentance—the...

The great comfort that comes from Psalm 14:6 (that I never noticed before) reminds my downcast heart of my Savior's great comfort, protection, and spiritual sustenance that I needed to hear today...and I didn't even know it. Truly, my God and Father loves me so perfectly in Christ Jesus my Lord, that He knows what I need, even before I ask. I was greatly comforted by this verse because as Dr. Steve Lawson teaches, the “poor” spoken of in Psalm 14:6 aren’t necessarily those who are poor in the things of this world, but it is speaking of eternal poverty—those who remain dead in their trespasses and therefore, have not the riches of eternal life in Christ our Lord. In the short clip below, Dr. Steve Lawson does well to teach us that  those who hate God's Word; regardless of their profession of loving Him (2 Tim 3:1-8, 12),  torment all who desire to live godly lives. Just as Satan masquerades as an angel of light, so do those who are enslaved to do his will (2 Tim...

I love Psalm 29:11 because it reminds me that true peace is not the absence of conflict with people. True peace, is the absence of conflict with God. And for anyone who has received the peace of God through repentance and faith in Jesus Christ, know that there must be conflict with people  in this life, for the Gospel is an offense to all who live in their pride, rather than in Christ. For 45 years, God has granted me His peace, and considered me worthy of sharing in the sufferings of my Savior. For 13 years the Lord graciously endured me through brutal persecutions, beatings, and slander for proclaiming the Gospel of God's grace, and refusing to denounce the name of Jesus Christ. Because the Spirit of Christ lives in me, I couldn't deny my Lord who suffered and died to be the propitiation and expiation for the sins I committed against the one and only living and holy God. In the past 14 years, God has considered me worthy of bearing the scars of my Savior. The scars...

If God meant my salvation to be solely for the purpose of me knowing Him, fellowshiping with Him and fellow saints in spirit and in truth, then why am I still here? Because really, I can do all these things in Heaven. If these things were God's sole purpose, then God, who wastes nothing, would have let me die and called me to glory right after He gave me eternal life in Jesus Christ. But He didn't. Why? Because God's sole purpose in saving me wasn't just so I could go to church, remain in a Christian bubble and enjoy fellowship with Him and other believers. God's purpose in saving me and leaving me here on earth was so I could be salt and light to the world—an ambassador of Christ—holding fast to the Word of life in a crooked and perverse generation (Mt 5:13-16, Php 2:14-16). "I love the LORD, because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. Because he has inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live...Gracious is ...

It's been a while since I've shared anything about my physical health ( my last post was in November 2014 ). Perhaps you thought the Lord healed me from my serious health afflictions...but He hasn't...yet. And that's okay with me. I'm now entering my 11th year of constant and often debilitating pain, extreme fatigue, seven surgeries in seven years (my most recent was a few weeks ago). I'm also still adding new specialists to my already large repertoire (an Endocrinologist, Cardiac Electrophysiologist, Oral and Maxillofacial Surgeon, and more). In addition to all this, it looks as if I'm going to need at least one more, and possibly two surgeries this year (one for my hyperparathyroidism and the other for a cardiac pacemaker). The reason it's been so long since I've shared anything about my continually declining health, is because I've wrongly concluded that it's better for me to encourage you rather than burden you with my seemingly, ...

It seems everywhere we look and every place we go, there's Christmas music playing, people shopping, commercials filled with laughter and gaiety; sparkling decorations and hearts filled with merriment and hope. But it's not that way for everyone. There are a silent few...or a silent many, who are not merry at Christmastime. Some people have lost loved ones this year through death, or by sin, that always separates. Some, like orphans, have no one to lose, but have constant dreams of finding parents who offer the sacrificial and eternal love of Christ rather than the self-centered, ephemeral love this world offers and settles for. Then, there are those who are alone in adulthood: widows, divorcees, and those struck with depression. The list goes on...and so do their sorrows. To aggravate the reality of their lack of merriment, they are often pressured to join in on all the Christmas festivities whether they feel like it or not. And as Christians, if we don't, th...

What does it mean, to give thanks in all circumstances? In First Thessalonians chapter five, the Apostle Paul closes with a list of things that every Christian ought to do (vv. 12-22), but can't do in our own strength or by our own sheer will. Perhaps we can accomplish some, or all that's on this list, but it would only be a temporary appearance of godly character rather than a faithful and continual walk. For we know if we do not abide in Christ, we will not bear His fruit. And any true godly quality we exhibit is a demonstration of the power of the Holy Spirit within us (1 Cor 2:5), not from our flesh that continually desires the ways of this world. I often refer to my physical trials as a gift from the Lord and something He has seen fit to work in my life for my greatest benefit. And often, I get questions and comments from people who are outraged by my proclamation that a good and loving God would bring pain into my life. They tell me I'm rather foolish and ...

There are many (too many) days I have trouble just opening the Word and getting my day started with Praise and Quiet Time in the Lord. I know this isn't a popular thing to share, but it's an honest thing to share about my spiritual walk...or sometimes, lack thereof. Though I could keep this weakness of mine hush hush and only share my accomplishments, my highs and all my joys I have in Christ, I can't do that because it would be disingenuous. When I remember I'll never be the wisest, kindest or most Christ-like person on this side of Heaven, I am both relieved and spurred on toward holiness (2 Cor 7:1, Eph 4:24, Heb 12:14). This may sound a bit strange—to feel relieved and encouraged by what makes me weak; but in Christ, these seemingly diametric concepts are actually harmonious. "So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep m...

Ever since Robin Williams' death and alleged suicide, there has been much talk in private conversations as well as mass media coverage and personal blog posts. I generally stay out of these "hot" topics because there's already been more saturation of a certain issue than necessary. So, as unusual as it is for me to write about the topic of depression and suicide after we've all been immersed in volumes of words over the past few days, I am writing about it. Not to join in and repeat what's already been said, but to bring a heavenly perspective to it so that all who read this, might find true hope. I don't share this often, and especially not in public. But I feel it's time now that I must, so that the work of God may be displayed in my life (John 9:3) even in the depths of sorrow. When I was 15 years old, I became so depressed by all that I suffered and all the horrid evils that were hurled at my little frail body since I was four, I w...

Imagine being invited to a reconciliation meeting. You're excited to get some painful issues resolved in the love of Christ and arrive with great expectations. Then suddenly, out of nowhere your heart is riddled with a barrage of friendly fire. Fabricated accusations based on the testimony of known false witnesses are shot at you with such rapid succession, you're instantly disoriented and gravely wounded. You can hardly catch your breath from this surprise and most unexpected attack. And you struggle to see clearly through the muddle. To make things worse, prior to this ambush, you were already suffering from heartache, sleepless nights, depressing days; and the extreme anguish that every prodigal causes a parent. You entered the room deeply wounded, but with great hope, you came to sow peace. Instead, you leave crippled by heartless and unfounded accusations coupled by the lack of compassion and grace offered by the other witnesses in the room. I don'...

"Now before the Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that His hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father, having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end." (John 13:1, ESV) No matter how many times I read this verse, I'm always in awe of what it says. While Jesus was fully aware of the utter torment and anguish He was about to endure that very night, His thoughts were not on Himself and what horrors would befall Him, but His full attention and love were fixed on His beloved apostles. The original Greek for the phrase "loved them to the end" means that Jesus demonstrated God's perfect and pure (agape) love to His disciples, continually and fully; to completion, even in His darkest hour. I'm in a dark place right now as my heart aches deeply for our youngest son, our prodigal, who is no longer walking in God's truth, but walking rebelliously in the deceptive world where truth is relative rather than a...