abandoned to Christ.

...I'm not fearful, ...I'm not in dread, ...I'm not fretting over my 7 years of declining health, ...I'm not feverishly seeking physical healing, ...and I'm not afraid to die or face the rest of my life this way. But what I am, is grateful -- to all of you for your fervent and faithful prayers on my behalf. And also for your precious prayers for my wonderful husband and sons. I'm also very grateful to all of you for your encouraging comments and emails. And I want to stay this way. For those of you who have been faithfully praying for me, please don't pray for anything I've listed above, for these are not the things I need. I need prayers for my attitude, for there are times that I truly get sick and tired, of being sick and tired, and I just want to go Home. Selfish, I know, but it's the hard and real truth. Sometimes I lose focus on what's important -- Jesus Christ and living for His pleasure and glory alone. And when I do this, I have pity p...

Dearest brothers and sisters in the Lord Jesus, I know I very rarely write personal notes, but I felt today, it was a good thing to do. It's been quite some time since I've written anything. And those of you who have been with me for a while have probably already figured out why...my health has once again taken a decline. Due to my severe vitamin B12 and D deficiencies and the inability for my body to absorb and maintain normal values of both, my doctors have decided it was wise to check my blood at least every three months. Of course, I've never quite made it three months without having my blood checked, but it is a something to look forward to. ☺ Back in December I was referred to yet another specialist - a pancreatic specialist, as it has become apparent my pancreas is not functioning well. Currently the pancreatic function test that is available is a very bad one and most often only detects a malady when 80% of the pancreas' function is no longer s...

...we found a little something...a parasitic infection, caused by the Giardia parasite. I was put on an antibiotic to clear up the infection. It is finished. :-) Now, I want to write only a short note on my current physical state, only to share with those who have been faithfully praying and have asked for an update. I left the Mayo Clinic a couple of weeks ago, not knowing much more about my declining health, why I was in the hospital this past June and why I have Vitamin B12 and Vitamin D deficiencies. We did find out however, that I will need to continue with testings to discover the underlying causes of all these conditions, but it would take some time...by the process of elimination. :-) My doctors here will be working with my doctors at the Mayo Clinic since I can do most of the testing here and just have it mailed to the Mayo Clinic. Being able to be with my family is wonderful! And I'm so grateful to God for allowing all (or most...for now) testing to be done here! Ou...

...I am not praying for my physical healing. And am not at all curious about what ails me. Why? You see, I just don’t see the point. As many of you know, the Lord has been so gracious to me all my life and has allowed me to suffer physically (13 years of violent physical, emotional and mental abuse) along with a host of other ailments. I’ve never really been a very healthy person. As a matter of fact, I’ve always been quite sickly and have had numerous serious illnesses and have been hospitalized, being near to death with other diseases since I was 20 years old. It seems I’ve never had a very strong immune system; so viruses and such that most people either don’t know they have or will recover on their own, well…they usually put me in the hospital. So none of this is very new to me. Because of all this, honestly, I’m tired. I really am. I’m tired in every way, physically, emotionally, mentally and even spiritually and I just really want to go Home. I know this place (earth) is n...

I've been meaning to write for a long while now. I've had so many things swirling around my head. Thoughts about sharing, and confessing recent sins and how God, as always, faithfully and lovingly disciplines me and teaches me. I wanted to share with all of you how good and amazingly awesome our Father God is and how He has incredible compassion on us because He remembers that we are only dust. There are so many things that I've wanted to tell all of you. So many things in my heart; my personal desires, my struggles, the truth and power of God's presence in the midst of these things...so many things to share and seemingly so little time to do it. Which thought was better? Which lesson have I learned that would be so encouraging to others? What should I write and when should I do it? Who am I writing to? What will they need to hear today that will impart to them much grace, to encourage them to stay the course (Ephesians 4:29)? Only the LORD knows. Therefore, here ...