Hello, It's Been A While...

According to my last blog post, it's been about a year. Wow.

Truly, time flies when...well, when...🤷

So why has it taken me a year to write again? Lots of reasons.

For those who've been following me on social media and/or have signed up for an email subscription to my blog, you already know about my 24/7 pain and weakness (due to 13 years of childhood persecution) that the LORD kindly and lovingly has and continues to faithfully endure me through since I was 33 (which was 24 year ago).

And by His grace, in 2008, the LORD inspired my darling husband, Jim, to suggest that I begin using the spiritual gifts (teaching, exhorting, etc.) the LORD gave me when I became too broken in mind and body to minister to young girls and women in person.

When I started, this blogging thing was new. So new, I had never heard of it, before my darling husband encouraged me to remain faithful rather than become stagnant in my life in Christ. He had to explain it all to me.

Frankly, I thought the whole idea of blogging was a bit odd. And I felt very out of place in this new sphere. I struggled to understand the concept of writing—online—to strangers.

I had no idea how to start. My mind felt like a blackhole and the notion of the blogosphere overwhelmed me. I felt lost in a land of what seemed like professionals or at least a "somebody" who already had a following in person or online. I am neither. Not then. Not now.

What do I write about?

What should I name my blog?

Would my writing honor and bless the name of my LORD?

Would my writing fall inline with Ephesians 4:29?

I struggled.

Since I began this blog in 2008, I've had the blessing of "meeting" some humble, kind, and loving sisters who also worked and learned how to navigate well in the blogosphere. And I learned from them. I even had multiple opportunities to write alongside them, and join some of them in their online women's ministries.

Suddenly, I had an audience. I had radio interviews. Blog interviews. And other requests. I was frightened.

I'm the introvert of all introverts and I don't readily enjoy engaging in any type of communication with people I know, let alone people I don't know. But God is not an introvert. Jesus came to seek to save the lost.

(Warning: Tangent ahead)

But God...I love those two words! It's one of my favorite phrases in all of Scripture because every time it's used, it comes just after someone sins or is suffering from being sinned against. And when you come to the "But God" part, it always, always means the LORD redeems and comforts whomever is the subject of the matter! This reminds me of a verse in one of my favorite hymns,

"How can grief remain, When our Savior reigns?" (You Are Our Hope | Sovereign Grace Music)

(We now return to our regularly scheduled programming)

Everyone told me to write in my own voice. Sounds simple. But I didn't know what my own voice was. So I began studying and emulating other bloggers who seemed to desire to honor our LORD and exhort others to love and worship Him as He is due.

I continued to struggle.

Eventually, I wrote less. Then I stopped—for a year. Far longer than I should have. Sure I've had understandable excuses. But that's all they were, excuses. Excuses to let go of the daunting task of writing to exhort, comfort, and edify in the way I thought I was supposed to...polished, professional, and most of all, perfect.

But God (you know something good is coming!!!), moved me back into obedience through a precious gal who I just started following on Facebook. Her name is Tina (you can find her on Facebook at Tina Cooks). And she's a lovely redeemed soul in Christ, who, like me, endured much childhoold trauma by the hands and mouths of her family. But unlike me, she's come through it with a humble, grateful, and tender, Jesus-like compassionate heart!

And because of Tina, just today, (I'm a slow learner...clearly) I finally understood what the LORD has been trying to get through my thick noggin since 2008! Writing in my voice means to write the way He uniquely created me to see things, understand things, and express things by the goodness of His grace from all that He's taught me in His Word, through His Spirit.

And this is what hit me...

Write as the Spirit leads, and not how others write and what they write about, or as others tell me how I should write and what I should write about.

When I first started writing and got "noticed", people pigeon-holed me into what they thought I was good at and therefore, what kind of blogger I should be. I was pulled in so many different directions by different well-meaning sects of Christian bloggers, that I just stopped writing.

But God (there it is again!!!) pulled me out of the miry bog of bloggers, and set my feet firmly back upon the Rock of my salvation. So we will begin again and together, see what the LORD pours in so that I may daily be poured out as Christ sees fit.

Soli Deo Gloria!