abandoned to Christ.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary , you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. ~1 Peter 1:3-7, ESV (emphasis mine) Often, an efficiency of words prove to make or break the meaning and/or weightiness of an entire thought. But we no longer live in the luxury of an instant coffee or microwave society. After all, it takes at least three whole minutes (or sometimes longer) to microwa...

Where I’ve Been In January 2020 I had my third heart surgery . Then I had serious issues with my eyes caused by my atrial fibrillation. While that was creating more appointments to my retina specialist, both my knees and my right elbow continued to worsen. Since the last time I wrote (April 2020), I’ve had three surgeries within three months. I had my second surgery on my right knee in July, a major elbow surgery in September, and a minor surgery to remove and biopsy a small lump on the inside of my right cheek. All this has been quite daunting and depressing. To add to my already (as one of my specialist put it) “eventful medical record”, I was also having severe pain in my index finger on my left hand. However, I didn’t mention it to anyone because there was already so much going on, that I could tell that I was overwhelming my doctors. And because I had already asked my Father, if it would please Him, to resolve this ailment without the use of medical intervention, I waited patien...

During the 17th century, Samuel Rutherford (Scottish preacher and author) penned 365 letters to those who were in need of godly counsel, based on the Word of God. In the   Letters of Samuel Rutherford   we find his sixth letter to Lady Kenmure (Anwoth. November 26, 1631; letter XIX in this publication) to provide her with further: "Encouragement to abound in faith from the prospect of glory—Christ's unchangeableness." He encourages her to, "Be content to wade through the waters betwixt you and glory with him [Christ Jesus], holding his hand fast; for he knoweth all the fords. Howbeit ye may be ducked, yet ye cannot drown, being in his company." After reading this particular wisdom from this faithful saint of old, the Holy Spirit graciously brought to mind, something the Lord Jesus taught me long ago... "On that day, when evening had come, He [Jesus] said to them, 'Let us go across to the other side'...And a great windstorm arose, and the...

"Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. But let none of you suffer as a murderer or a thief or an evildoer or as a meddler. Yet, if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in that name. For it is time for judgment to begin at the household of God; and if it begins with us, what will be the outcome for those who do not obey the gospel of God? And      'If the righteous are scarcely saved,           what will become of the ungodly and the                sinner?' Therefore, let those who suffer according to God's will entrust their souls to a fait...

Since this week has been a particularly difficult week for me physically, yesterday's lovely day at the Byron Nelson with my darling Teeny Tiny (a.k.a. Michael, our eldest son) wore out my already frail body. But it was worth it! One of the numerous things that I've come to thank God for during these 13 years of constant physical pain and weakness, is the revelation that pain is not, and cannot be the determining factor of when and why and how I choose to live—only the Word of God determines that. Physical pain and weakness and suffering are not even close to being the worse thing I, nor anyone on this earth can experience. A life lived outside of God's good and perfect will, is the worse thing anyone (both rebellious believers and unbelievers) can experience. Because I'm so weak and in much pain today, my darling husband, once again, planned what we call "home church service". We always use a sermon from Parkside Church (www.parksidechurch.com...

As many of you know, I've been very ill for the past 13 years. I have more specialists than there are colors in the rainbow. I've had countless procedures, many emergency room visits and hospital admissions. I've had nine surgeries in eight years and I have at least one more to go. It hurts just to be alive. And often, I want to give up. I'm in constant physical pain all over my body, and I hate the perpetual weakness I feel daily. I have to take medications, vitamins, enzymes, and eat and drink certain things daily in order to help my organs function. It's annoying. It's depressing. It makes me grumpy. But then, there is God, who is far greater than any trial or tribulation I encounter in this life (2 Cor 4:16-18). My Father's love, grace, extreme kindness and faithfulness always lifts my heart to praise and thanksgiving. My body may be weak, but indeed, the Spirit of Christ that dwells within me is more than willing to carry me out of my miry pit ...

During my praise and quiet time this morning, one of the chapters included in the Bible reading plan I use , was 2 Corinthians 11. When I got to verse 30, "If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness ." , I realized this is something I rarely do. I often boast of Christ crucified (as every Christian ought), and I often boast about the good works of God displayed through the hands of His children. I've boasted about my Lord Jesus' power made perfect in my weaknesses. But today, it hit me...I don't often boast about things that show my weakness. It's difficult to do because I don't know what's enough or too much. And to be honest, I try to forget about all the pain and weakness I constantly feel, because who wants to hear about it? Most people don't. I've had numerous occasions when I've tried to share and either the person is clearly disinterested or they interrupt and change the subject to something funny ...

The condensed version of, "I told you this would happen, but you wouldn't listen." is, "I told you so." It's been ingrained in me and I think, most, if not all of you, that saying "I told you so" is wrong. It's considered to be harsh, inconsiderate, unkind, jabbing; and therefore, the most unloving and graceless thing to say to anyone after they've neglected to heed wise counsel, and find themselves in an unsavory and often, painful situation. "Call me crazy, but in the history of conversations, has the phrase 'I told you so' ever really generated a positive response? I'd say no, it has not...'I told you so' is a negative and counterproductive way of saying, 'I’m right and you’re wrong,' that does neither party any good. Even if the person in the wrong has been stubborn and refused constructive advice, that does not give another person the authority to rub their face in it... "If you must sa...

Though it's an icky thought to have an electronic device (pacemaker) in my chest and two electrical wires (leads) in two chambers of my heart (right atrium and ventricle), I'm grateful to the LORD for providing this medical intervention that's making my heart beat as often as it should and gradually elevate as necessary, with activity. I have a six week recovery that includes not being able to raise my left arm above my head, bear down on it, extend it back, etc. so as not to pull the leads out of my heart, which would require another surgery to put them back in. And for the first two weeks, I can't drive or do much of anything but rest, and possibly, some very light activity. Six weeks gives the tissue in my heart enough time to surround the leads and hold them in place. I never realized how many things I have to do that causes me to have to put my arms above my head (wash and brush my hair, getting dressed, reaching for a drinking glass, etc.), bear down o...

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." -Psalm 73:26, ESV Psalm 73:25 says, "Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you." Both verses 25 and 26 resonate the song of my literal and figurative heart; for God alone makes my physical heart beat, and He alone made my figurative heart alive in Christ. Without the LORD I wouldn't have physical or spiritual life...and neither would anyone else. This past Friday, my Cardiac Electrophysiologist confirmed that I have an uncommon heart arrhythmia called sick sinus syndrome (SSS) . What this means is that my heart can no longer keep a steady rhythm because it's "sick". The short version is that my natural pacemaker (sinus node) is no longer functioning properly so I have bradycardia (heart rate under 60 bpm) which causes me to be very lightheaded, dizzy and weak due to the lack of blood flow...

If God meant my salvation to be solely for the purpose of me knowing Him, fellowshiping with Him and fellow saints in spirit and in truth, then why am I still here? Because really, I can do all these things in Heaven. If these things were God's sole purpose, then God, who wastes nothing, would have let me die and called me to glory right after He gave me eternal life in Jesus Christ. But He didn't. Why? Because God's sole purpose in saving me wasn't just so I could go to church, remain in a Christian bubble and enjoy fellowship with Him and other believers. God's purpose in saving me and leaving me here on earth was so I could be salt and light to the world—an ambassador of Christ—holding fast to the Word of life in a crooked and perverse generation (Mt 5:13-16, Php 2:14-16). "I love the LORD, because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. Because he has inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live...Gracious is ...

It's been a while since I've shared anything about my physical health ( my last post was in November 2014 ). Perhaps you thought the Lord healed me from my serious health afflictions...but He hasn't...yet. And that's okay with me. I'm now entering my 11th year of constant and often debilitating pain, extreme fatigue, seven surgeries in seven years (my most recent was a few weeks ago). I'm also still adding new specialists to my already large repertoire (an Endocrinologist, Cardiac Electrophysiologist, Oral and Maxillofacial Surgeon, and more). In addition to all this, it looks as if I'm going to need at least one more, and possibly two surgeries this year (one for my hyperparathyroidism and the other for a cardiac pacemaker). The reason it's been so long since I've shared anything about my continually declining health, is because I've wrongly concluded that it's better for me to encourage you rather than burden you with my seemingly, ...