On March 28, 1999, Jim was working late. Our two precious boys were sound asleep and I was alone, sitting at the kitchen table drinking hot tea. I was sitting there feeling sorry for myself because my husband wasn't home yet. For some strange reason, I was overwhelmed with sorrow and loneliness that night. As I cried out to our Father God, He reminded me that this was such a small stream of a trial compared to all that He had already delivered me from.

Our gracious God, so gently reminded me of the 13 years of child abuse, high school drama and trauma and the three years I spent walking away from Him. And through it all, He was there. He was there to discipline me when I needed it, to hold me, comfort me and love me when no one else could be trusted. And He was there when I said I thought I could "take it from here".

During all these contemptuous times, God never failed me and always reminded me to empty myself of myself, lift my eyes to Jesus, act justly, love mercy and walk humbly before Him. In the midst of my sorrow, I wrote the words to this song:

You Are

You are the sunshine of my days,
You are the apple of my eye.
Lord I lift my voice,
And praise Your name.

You are the One who makes me strong,
You are the Giver of all hope.
Lord You make right,
All my wrongs.

Lord I adore Thee,
For all You have done!
With grace and mercy,
You gave us Your Son!

You put me in, the cleft of the rock.
And You cover me, with Your hand.
You lift me, and mold me,
So that I may stand...on Your Truth,
O Lord, how I love Thee!

I praise You,
O Lord, my God.
I exalt Your Name,
You're the Great "I Am"!

I need your help. About 6 years ago, my dear friend and sister in Christ, Laurie (we've been friends for 20 years) was diagnosed with Follicular Lymphoma Stage III. She's needing a bone marrow transplant to save her life. Originally, they thought they could use her own stem cell since she was not a match with any family members and seems with no one else so far who are already registered with the National Marrow Donor Program (NMDP).

She got some really bad news today. Her cancer is not only growing, but she also has another disease called Poluycythemia Rubra Vera (also known as PV. PV compromises her bone marrow and now she can not go through with the stem cell transplant. She is the only known case with both Follicular Lymphoma Stage III and PV so her oncologist is trying to figure out what to do. If PV is not taken care of quickly, she will die and leave behind a husband and three young boys.

She will go in next week to find out if her Follicular Lymphoma Stage III has turned into another cancer like Leukemia.

I have two very important requests for you, the first one is easy, the second will take much prayer and sacrifice:

Go to the link above and you can either sign up online, or go to a local registry. I went to Carter Blood Care in my town. The initial testing is only a mouth swab. If you're a match the NMDP will call you and tell you you're a possible match and you'll need to go into your local registry for further testing. This test is just blood work, like when you go to the doctor and get blood drawn. If you are a match, I won't lie to you, it is a painful process to donate your marrow. But your temporary pain could save someone's life. And isn't that the least we can do for one another after what Christ has done for us?

"Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ...And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith."
~ Galatians 6:2, 9-10

The love of God, perfectly demonstrated in Christ Jesus is beyond our complete comprehension. We neither make God greater, nor do we benefit Heaven in any way. But simply because it pleases God (because God is love [1 John 4:8]) He provided a way for us to have peace with Him through the suffering, death and resurrection of His Son. Through this great Gift, God gave us the freedom to love, to offer “true love” to Him, to other Christians, and to the lost world – and in that order.

Will you choose to exercise your freedom to love from this day forward? Will you choose to love God, to love other Christians and those who are lost, not because they can do anything for you, make you feel good, or for any self-gain or benefit? But love God, other Christians and those who are lost, simply because you seek to bring the greatest benefit to those you love? Even if it will cause you to personally suffer a loss, will you do it? Will you do it with joy, while still feeling the pain?

Will you choose this day, to begin practicing your freedom to love, because Jesus the Christ, willingly bore your shame, your guilt, your nakedness, your condemnation, and your position of enmity with God the Father so that you would have this freedom made available to you?

What will you choose to continue in today? The world’s love that even it rejects: love that always considers itself first before acting, or God’s love?


God has given you the freedom to choose. So choose wisely and consider this: The true character of a person is revealed by how he/she treats someone who is utterly of no use to them.

How often I feel as if I will simply burst! This flesh is too weak to contain the joy, the immense pleasure and elation bubbling inside of me due to the incredible honor to live in the presence of my Creator! I am certain that’s why He will give us new bodies in Heaven, for now we only see in part, but then we will see Him as He Is, in His full glory; and I am confident, this frail physical form, will not be able to survive in the fullness of my Savior, Jesus Christ.

It is up to my darling husband and two teenage boys to care for me and the household, as I recover from my surgery. I have been home for less than a week, and have already witnessed the miracle of God’s handiwork in the hearts of my family I’ve never had the privilege of knowing before now. And I am so grateful to God for choosing to reveal to me the secret things He has been doing in the hearts of my husband and boys.

With joy, my husband helps me with everything from giving me my pain meds before I can get out of bed in the morning, to helping me get up, sit down, serve me every drink, food, book or any little thing I need. I very rarely move out of this seat I am presently sitting in and think it has taken the shape of my body by now. Without any hesitation, my darling husband gets up instantly with great delight at my every call and need. The laundry has been done; the house is clean and in order. If I get up, I am instantly sat back down. I am only allowed my necessary walks around the house or out to the mailbox to aid in my healing. I breathe into my little lung machine to keep my respiratory strength, and that’s about it for the day. And, oh how I am gaining more strength daily! But of course – it’s due to the fact that my joy in the Lord is increasing daily! And that which is physical always follows after that which is spiritual.

And what has the LORD done in the hearts of my children as they witness Christ’s love so perfectly demonstrated through my husband? Both my boys have taught themselves how to cook! They clean everything, and cook for me during the day.

I am served ham and cheese toaster sandwiches, breaded cheese balls, spaghetti, and have even been offered to have chicken parmigiana made for me. The boys have determined to go to bed early, so they may rise early to have their praise and quiet time with the LORD before they serve me in the morning. They said they’re doing this because whether I am awake yet or not, they want to be ready to serve me, first thing.

Last night, one of our oldest son’s friends dropped off some food his mom had made for our family. He then invited our oldest son to play basketball with him and another friend. Our son returned about an hour and a half before his curfew stating, “It was fun, but I don’t think I’ll be doing that again.” I asked why and he answered, “Well, Mama, I like hanging out with my friends, and maybe it would’ve been fine if we hung out during the day. But at night, I’d really rather be home with my family. I like being here better and really missed everyone. I need to be here at night. Being with friends is okay, but I just like being here with my family better. And that’s how I like to end my day.”

A teenage son doesn’t say that, nor do two teenagers behave this way because they have great parents. No this is a miracle and can only be accomplished by children who know the Lord and have tasted and seen that He is good. Compared to the Lord, the world and all it has to offer is, well…as our oldest son put it – just, okay.

To have a husband who loves me like Christ loves the Church, two teenage boys who sacrifice with joy and great pleasure to serve me….this is not from man, no this is a miracle and only God works miracles. And I get to be the humbled and honored recipient of such a great work of God!

Is there any greater joy than knowing the LORD? No, there is most certainly not! The more I know about my awesome God, the greater my joy increases! For although one of the greatest joys is to know that our children are walking in truth, there is no joy that surpasses knowing Christ Jesus, my Savior who is my Life!

“Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For His sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ.”
~ Philippians 3:8
(emphasis added)