...we found a little something...a parasitic infection, caused by the Giardia parasite.

I was put on an antibiotic to clear up the infection. It is finished. :-)

Now, I want to write only a short note on my current physical state, only to share with those who have been faithfully praying and have asked for an update. I left the Mayo Clinic a couple of weeks ago, not knowing much more about my declining health, why I was in the hospital this past June and why I have Vitamin B12 and Vitamin D deficiencies. We did find out however, that I will need to continue with testings to discover the underlying causes of all these conditions, but it would take some time...by the process of elimination. :-)

My doctors here will be working with my doctors at the Mayo Clinic since I can do most of the testing here and just have it mailed to the Mayo Clinic. Being able to be with my family is wonderful! And I'm so grateful to God for allowing all (or most...for now) testing to be done here! Our God is so good!

On Wednesday, we discovered that after a 4-week regimen of B12 shots, my B12 level is still low, which is abnormal. Normally, a 4-week regimen brings a person to a normal level and then monthly B12 shots are administered for life. But this did not happen with me. The 4-week regimen only boosted my B12 level by 47 points rather than hundreds, or more hopefully, a thousand. So my doctors are looking at other tests that may need to be performed to figure out why my body will not hold B12. Therefore, I am still feeling sick, weak, tired and still have my abdominal pains, memory & concentration problems, etc. But at the end of the day...I STILL HAVE JESUS! So all is well! ♥

"Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves with the same way of thinking, for whoever has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, so as to live the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for human passions but for the will of God."
~ 1 Peter 4:1-2

In the passage above, the Apostle Peter is talking about suffering physically for the name of Christ. Whether this physical suffering comes by the hand of evil and wicked people who beat those who trust in the name of Jesus, or whether by Satan who tempts us to curse the name of God (like our enemy did with Job) because of our physical suffering. The Lord has kindly and mercifully allowed me to experience both.

For 13 years of my life, the Lord our God allowed me to suffer violent physical abuse with a 2' x 4', anything out of the tool box, had my head put through walls & bashed repeatedly against doors, whipped with anything in sight, thrown down stairs, punched, kicked, etc. and afterward, thrown outside for hours; in rain, heat, snow or any weather, in order to shame me and display me before the public, half naked, beaten and bleeding, in the hopes that I would obey the commands of man rather than the commands of God. All my beatings lasted for hours; until my abuser no longer had strength to beat me. Why? Mostly, but not entirely, because I was the only Christian in my household and refused to bow down to idols (that is, dead ancestors), lie, deny Christ as my Savior and God as my God. I was the youngest of three and rejected by all.

Through it all, God was so gracious to part the "red sea" before me daily. Although it seemed that I was trapped by my enemy who relentlessly pursued me and the great "sea" of childhood that limited me from providing my own escape from my enemy's wrath; God daily made a way, where there was no way. God constantly provided me protection, both physically (as no bone was ever broken) and spiritually (as He saved my wretched soul when I was four) and mentally (as I have no desire and never had to beat my own children). If God had not intervened, I should now, either be dead in my transgressions and suffering eternally in Hell, or I should be crippled somehow - but I am not; in any way, shape or form. Hallelujah! Glory be to the Lamb!

In God's righteous love, His justice and His mercy prevailed in my life then, still does now, and will forevermore. Because of God's immeasurable kindness and compassion towards me, He has reconciled me to most of my abusers and has sown peace where it was impossible for man...but nothing is impossible for God.

And now, our enemy Satan continues to scheme against me so that I might deny the name of my Savior. Our enemy continues to tempt me to curse the name of our good and great God by once again, attacking my body with various diseases for the past six (6) years. And once again, God does not restrain His mercy from me, instead, He causes His steadfast love and faithfulness to ever preserve me! [Psalm 40:11]

And here is what my all my physical afflictions have accomplished: the strengthening of my faith, trust and dependence of God alone; it has caused me to cling even more tightly to my Savior, ignite my heart to worship Him continually and desire His will, His way and His presence greater than anything in this world. Our enemy, Satan has desired to cause me such physical grief so that I might be overcome with worry, despair and endless study of my body, medicine, etc. so that I might seek out some kind of deliverance for myself. But NO! I still see myself as that poor and needy child. Frail and alone, looking only to the Great One, the Holy One of Israel, the LORD God Almighty to save me and deliver me from all my troubles. For as a child, I am incapable of delivering myself from anything. But my God, my Heavenly Father, who has adopted me into His royal priesthood is able to do all things good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. And my God has promised that He has already delivered me [Psalm 40:1-2]; therefore, I choose to live in that deliverance and not in my present and temporary circumstances. The promises of God are eternal and what I can presently see and feel are only temporal [2 Corinthians 4:16-18].

May the God of glory bring you His eternal peace and His eternal comfort as you seek Him with a pure heart, so that you might be directed in His love, and in the steadfastness of our Lord Jesus Christ.

To God be the glory alone, forever and ever! Amen and Amen.

When we don't get everything we want here on earth; whether it be physical healing or physical, emotional, mental and even spiritual comforts, we must always remember that no man, nor anything in all creation can thwart God's perfect plans.

Therefore, when we find ourselves in situations where God seemingly has not answered, or has provided us with an answer we did not desire, we must maintain in what we DO know with confidence, rather than give into the fears of speculation and appointing blame on one another. Instead, we, as children of the Most High God know for CERTAIN that God is good and His timing is impeccably perfect and we can never fully understand all of His awesome and lofty ways. With this knowledge, we can move out of our fears of temporary discomforts and move forward into what we were made for: to worship and give honor, praise and glory to the King of kings and the Lord of lords!

When we are saddened by God's answers, we mustn't give into the blame game; instead, as God's children, holy and dearly loved, we must say to our souls, "What lesson is here for me to learn Lord? I am your child, and I am listening."

No matter what may come our way, may we always rejoice that God is God and we are not! ♥

Join me today in this praise of our awesome Heavenly Father and God, through our Lord Jesus Christ, by the power of His Holy Spirit.

...I am not praying for my physical healing. And am not at all curious about what ails me.

Why?

You see, I just don’t see the point. As many of you know, the Lord has been so gracious to me all my life and has allowed me to suffer physically (13 years of violent physical, emotional and mental abuse) along with a host of other ailments. I’ve never really been a very healthy person. As a matter of fact, I’ve always been quite sickly and have had numerous serious illnesses and have been hospitalized, being near to death with other diseases since I was 20 years old. It seems I’ve never had a very strong immune system; so viruses and such that most people either don’t know they have or will recover on their own, well…they usually put me in the hospital. So none of this is very new to me.

Because of all this, honestly, I’m tired. I really am. I’m tired in every way, physically, emotionally, mentally and even spiritually and I just really want to go Home. I know this place (earth) is not my Home and I’ve never looked at it as a place where I want to lengthen my stay.

I know this might seem odd, as I am a wife and mother and I know most people don’t want to leave their spouses or children, but I am willing. I know most people want to stay around and see their children grow up, get married and see their grandchildren and enjoy them. Although all these things are nice, they are not necessary to me and is not a great desire. Should the Lord choose to bless me with such, I am eternally grateful. But if the Lord chooses to take me Home before I experience any of these things, I am also eternally grateful and completely satisfied.

I didn’t grow up like most of you and probably not like most people you know. I grew up alone, scared and always only have God as my source of….well, everything. I’ve never loved anyone or anything more than I love God and I’ve never had any attachments that are greater than the one I have with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. So, unlike many people, I don’t actually pray for my healing on this side of Heaven, as I don’t weep or hunger to stay here in this body any longer than is necessary.

I understand that much of what I just shared may not sound “normal”, but I’m sure I’ve never been accused of being normal. :-) I am also sure, some of this might sound morbid, but I assure you, it is not. I am not depressed and am not sitting here, hoping that I die. What I am saying is the same thing Asaph expressed in Psalm 73:25-26,

I will continue to actively seek the wisdom and counsel from God my Father and all the physicians He’s placed in my life for my care and health. I will continue to rejoice in anything God my Father chooses for me, whether it be healing and restoration on this side of Heaven or not. Therefore, I have chosen to see going to the Mayo Clinic as a mission trip, as that is more meaningful to me, rather than for personal healing. Like I said, physical suffering is neither new to me, nor a big deal. Eternal things have always been a bigger deal to me and is what consumes me….God’s ministry of reconciliation.

This is the major reason why I have not wanted to go to the Mayo Clinic and have made so light of it. I don’t think that my physical healing is a big enough of a reason for all the trouble of going to the Mayo Clinic. But for the sake of the Gospel? For the sake of exhorting, bringing the comfort and peace of Christ to the lost and to fellow brothers and sisters in Christ who also may be suffering? Yes, for the sake of both, I will joyfully go. These reasons are enough: for the Gospel, for the encouragement of the saints, and for my precious and beautiful family whom the Lord has blessed me with beyond measure. Even if it were just for the comfort of my husband and children, and my dear brothers and sisters in Christ, yes it is enough for me. For God has given them to me as precious gifts, which I am and will be eternally grateful for.

The Lord Jesus went to Jerusalem (Luke 18:31-33), not because it was going to make Him feel good. But He went for our sakes, for our salvation and for our deliverance. Jesus never took His focus off His Father’s plans. He never allowed anything or anyone here on earth to deter Him or even cause Him to delay in fulfilling His Father’s will. I believe that’s what it means to have our lives completely hid in Christ. To have our personal desires be dead and only alive in the desires and complete will of God our Father.

Thank you again for all your prayers for me and for my family. I would like to ask you all to please pray in agreement with me that God will open many doors while I am in MN to preach the Gospel and even encourage tired saints who are suffering. Perhaps I may be used to exhort fellow brothers and sisters to stay the course until the Lord calls them Home. And please pray especially for my darling husband. I can’t imagine how difficult all this has been for him. Just thinking of his suffering in all this, breaks my heart and encourages me all the more to go joyfully to the Mayo Clinic – for my darling husband’s peace and comfort.