Father's Day is often a time when we celebrate and honor the life of the man who made the greatest difference in our lives. Some for good, and some for bad. Just the same, God gave fathers the greatest responsibility for leading their families.

In an ideal world, that would mean every father would love the LORD God with all their hearts and with all their soul and with all their mind and with all their strength; and love others better than themselves. But since we live in a fallen world wrecked with sin, this is not the kind of father we all had, or presently have.

Some of us have fathers who either don't know the LORD at all, or profess to know the LORD but their profession is all there is. Some of us weren't raised by Christian father's whose greatest desire was to see their children walking in the Way of the Lord Jesus, who sacrificed his comforts for his family and others, and who lived to love others better than he was ever loved by them.

Christ-honoring fathers are the kinds of fathers that are easy to celebrate and honor every day of our lives. But what if we don't have this kind of father? Are we to slap on a plastic face and lavish our fathers with flattery and speak of them in a way we wished for them to be, but they never were? Are we too ashamed to admit our father's didn't raise us in the loving instruction and discipline of the Lord both in word and deed? And then, rather than remain silent, or speak the truth we can, we lie to them and others in order to join in on this celebration?

And what about wives? Should wives give false praise to husbands whose character doesn't exude the life of Christ? Should we decorate our husbands with accolades that really don't speak to their godly character?

Rather than seem like ungrateful and ungodly children and wives, we spit shine our false image of our fathers and husbands so we can pretend they are the people they really aren't. Us mothers do our children a great disservice when we lie about our husband's non-existent godly behaviors. We need to teach our children how to appreciate what's really there, rather than condone our already saturated world of lies.

So this year, resolve not to purchase your fathers or husbands cards that talk about what fantastically godly men they are if they're not; lest they believe your lies and never aspire to be such. Rather, purchase them cards that honestly speak of your love and prayers for them. If you can't find one, then make one. Truth is always better than fiction.

Neither profaning nor falsely glorifying ungodly fathers and husbands is good. They are both sinful behaviors many participate in, only to preserve their own image of godliness. But there is no sin in godliness; only truth and light.

So how do we celebrate and honor men who are not worthy of honor and celebration? We honor them by being honest, and loving them in truth. Rather than lavish them with false thanks and accolades before friends, family and social media, we ought to thank them for what we truly can and pray for them to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ (see Celebrating a Different Kind of Mother) .Only through our genuine display of love and prayers can they actually lead their families in the Way of the Lord Jesus in word and deed.

I am grateful to the Lord for my unbelieving earthly father God chose for me. Though many terrible and painful things happened because of this, I am blessed by the countless lessons I've learned about what true, godly love is, and what it isn't.

I am grateful to the Lord for my believing husband who has fathered our sons in the loving instruction and discipline of the Lord. Not having had a godly example, my darling husband has had many bumps in the road (just as I have as a mother). So I don't flatter him to overcome his failings, but I do honor and celebrate his humble heart that's sensitive to the Holy Spirit's call to repentance. My darling husband faithfully strives for holiness by reading and studying God's Word daily and honestly confessing his sins to me and our sons (Jn 3:21); teaching us not to follow him in sin, but to follow him in the ways of the Lord. My husband's heart is much like King David's—stumbles in sin, but quick to repent.

If you're reading this now and feel a bit discouraged because you neither have a father nor a husband who is worthy to be praised, then remember this: if you repent and trust in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, then you have the best, most loving and perfect Father—your Father in Heaven! And there is not one thing our heavenly Father does or says that is not worthy of praise. Even if we praised the LORD for all His goodness to us with every breath we take from here and throughout eternity, it would never match the praise He is due.

"You have multiplied, O LORD my God, Your wondrous deeds and Your thoughts toward us; none can compare with You! I will proclaim and tell of them, yet they are more than can be told."

~Psalm 40:5 (ESV)

Parenting isn't for wimps, the selfish, militant nor manipulative person who simply have children to gratify their already overweening egos. That's not parenting, that's propagating your own agenda much like Hitler who brainwashed, manipulated and militantly misled people to follow his ideal world; which included squashing the ideas and lives of others who didn't agree or fit into his utopia.

By God's immense grace He allows us to procreate and enjoy the blessing of having little ones entrusted to our care and raise them by His design, not ours. By His good and wise counsel, God has instructed us to lovingly train up our children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Eph 6:4). This instruction isn't some sort of archaic, impersonal commandment, but rather a glorious privilege and gift from God on how to best care for our precious children in accordance with His perfect Word rather than our fallible opinions.

"All have turned aside; together have become worthless; no one does good, not even one...And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who seek Him."

~Romans 3:12, Hebrews 11:6 (ESV)

Only through the hearing and receiving of the Gospel of Jesus Christ can any parent train up their children in the Way (that is, the narrow and holy way of Christ) they should go. If we don't understand the Gospel and if we haven't truly received it, the message of hope and the freedom found only in Christ can never be obtained, lived or taught.

It's only by God's grace that any of us are saved and it's only by His special grace upon His chosen people that we are kept and sanctified by the power of His Holy Spirit. I can't save either of my sons, but I can share and live the Gospel before them. I can't make them love God and others. But I can love God and others before them. I can't make them compassionate and considerate people. But I can demonstrate this through sacrificial service to them and others. I can't make them humble and thankful. But I can submit to my Lord Jesus and my husband joyfully and speak of the gratitude I have for the provisions God has made in my life.

Now that my sons are grown, I often ask myself, "Could I have done better?" And the answer is assuredly "YES!" There are so many things I've recently learned that I wish I knew two decades ago. But I didn't. And I know God allowed for that so I don't beat myself over the head with it. So what do I do with this new and improved parenting information I didn't have to benefit my children? I turn to those who are behind me and share this nugget of wisdom with them so their children can benefit. After all, what good is a blessing if you don't share it with others?

And this is the consolation: though none of us parents perfectly, by God's grace our children will be what He has ordained in His book in conjunction with our obedience, and even in spite of our disobedience. So though we may not be able to personally use all the wisdom about parenting we will continue to learn throughout our lives, we can still have the joy and privilege of passing them onto those who are raising the next generation.

"Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in Your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them...And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ...if we are faithless, He remains faithful—for He cannot deny Himself."

~Psalm 139:16, Philippians 1:6, 2 Timothy 2:13 (ESV)

"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her the fruit of hands, and let her works praise her in the gates...I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me...Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For His sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in Him..."

~Proverbs 31:30-31, Galatians 2:20, Philippians 3:8-9 (ESV)

For the past month our oldest son has been asking me what I want for Mother's Day. I've had no other ideas to offer him except one: that he aspire nothing greater than to grow in the grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ; walk closely with Him and that love for the Almighty be preeminent in his life.

I'm 45 now and I pretty much have everything I need or want. When you get to be my age, there's very little you desire that money can buy. The things that are most cherished are the things of the heart. And since Christ is my Lord and Savior, His Holy Spirit inhabits my heart and directs my desires to be more like Christ and less like I was pre-second birth (Rom 8:28-29, Gal 2:20).

The desires of our flesh begin to wane as we draw nearer to the Lord Jesus. We begin to see things with the new spiritual eyes He gave us. And the things we treasure are no longer the things that satisfy our flesh. We begin only to long for the greater things—the things that satisfy the Spirit of Christ within us.

"What shall I render to the LORD for all His benefits to me? I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the LORD, I will pay my vows to the LORD in the presence of all His people."

~Psalm 116:12-14 (ESV)

This Mother's Day is bitter sweet for me as I only have one son still in my life. Our second son, as many of you have already read, is our prodigal and has disdained and rejected all that our most generous and gracious Lord has blessed him with through our family. Sadly, our son is a scoffer (Prov 9:7, 13:1) and prefers to join himself with people who tickle his ears (Prov 26:28, 27:6) rather than love him and build him up in the truth (Ps 141:5).

Because we have the love of Christ, we have much pity for our son gone astray and for those helping him in his rebellion. There is no safer or lovelier place than in the Lord Jesus, and they're all missing out on the greatest Gift.

May our merciful and compassionate LORD grant them all godly grief (2 Cor 7:9-10).

"It is only as Christ's words remain in us and we remain in him that we will be delivered from the rootless Christianity so characteristic of our times."

~Sinclair Ferguson (A Heart for God)

The greatest gift a mother's heart desires is not for gold, trinkets or anything that will fade away with this world. But the greatest desire any God-fearing and Christ-loving mother has, is to see her children, all her children, walking in truth (1 Jn 3:18). And this is something she can't do for them.

There's a point and time in every person's life where they need to take responsibility for the gifts and even sin patterns they have. Every saved person can choose to use their God-given strengths to overcome the sinful temptations of their flesh, or they can ignore the good and revel in the evil.

A mother can neither take the credit for the fruit and blessings of a godly child, nor can she take the blame for one gone astray. The best and most loving thing a mother can do is be obedient to God's Word (Deut 6:6-9, Prov 31:26) and diligently train up her children in the loving discipline and instruction of the LORD; and trust Him for the results.

My heart echoes what Job aptly spoke, "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD." (Job 1:21, ESV).

"We turn to God when our foundations are shaking, only to learn that it is God who is shaking them."

~Charles West

Though this Mother's Day will be bitter sweet, it will be more sweet than bitter because Jesus is still on the throne and the Almighty is still sovereign. Therefore, I choose to relish the goodness of Christ my Savior and thank Him for both my sons, the one who strives for holiness and the one who has spurned God's goodness. All children are gifts from God (Ps 127:3); therefore, I am grateful and rejoice!