When we were little children, the first time we received a lollipop or a shiny sticker from our doctor, we were overjoyed and grateful. The second time, we were again excited about trying a new lollipop flavor and the new sticker we could get. Perhaps this time, it would be a scratch and sniff! But the third time, we begin to grow weary with the same old lollipop and sticker choices. So we snuff our noses as we walk by the lollipops and stickers and brighten our eyes to the new, bigger and better prize we have earned! Yep. Earned.

As cute and cuddly as we are when we're little, we're still sinners waiting to tell the world what our demands are and by golly, they better deliver. We start first with our parents. Much like our doctor's visits, we act as if our parents owe us something. For what? Our mother's owe us because she carried us for nine months, fed us, sacrificed her figure and health and some of them, their lives? Our mother's labor for us from the day she conceives until the day one of us dies, and for this, she owes us....what?

Our father's work tirelessly and sacrificially to provide a roof over our heads, food in our bellies and clothes to cover and warm our bodies. And if we're blessed with parents who love the Lord Jesus, then they spend hours reading and studying the Bible themselves and teaching and training us in the love and admonition of the Lord. Christian parents pour out their whole hearts and lives to their children so that they may know Christ and be known by Him.

Additionally, we think our children owe us something because we're doing just as God has commanded? They are God's gifts to us, to draw us nearer to Him; to remind us we can't do anything ourselves (even take care of a helpless infant). Our children humble us and bring us to our knees. And for this, we ought to continually give thanks to the Lord.

Sadly, this uncomely cycle of self-adulation and entitlement extends to our adulthood.

Even as adults, when we first meet a new friend and they share a kindness with us, whether in word or deed (or both), we are very touched and extremely grateful. We're so moved by their kindness, we want to tell our spouse, our children, and everyone on social media. But after this person does something kind a second or third time, we're no longer filled with the same gratitude we first had, rather—we expect it.

Why does this happen? Why does familiarity breed ingratitude and if not dealt with, lead to contempt?

Pride. Entitlement. Ingratitude. Contempt. That's how.

Ever since Adam and Eve committed the first sin in the Garden (believing they could be like God), all humanity has been cursed with insatiable pride that tells us we are owed everything good and nothing bad. This makes us feel entitled, which leads to ingratitude and when we don't recognize and repent of this, we become contemptuous, impatient and unkind to others.

How we see ourselves and those around us, greatly affects our relationship with God. If we can be so prideful, feel so entitled, be so ungrateful and contemptuous towards those we can see, how much more do we behave the exact same way towards God whom we can't see (1 John 4:20)?

We think too much of our own "good" deeds and too little of others. And sadly, sometimes the "good" we think we're doing isn't really a blessing to others, but rather, a burden. It may surprise us to discover, when we get to Heaven, that the time we think we spent blessing someone, was actually, the other way around. It was a sacrifice and unpleasant experience for them to be with us, therefore, a great blessing to us, rather than to them. And we missed it.

We're left in this sad and destructive state as long as we don't repent and remember what Christ did for us on the Cross at Calvary. As much "good" we think we do, we don't and can't do it unless God works it through us (Eph 2:10). Unless God gives us the seed to sow, unless God blesses us with anything to give whether in word or in deed, we have nothing but evil to give anyone (1 Cor 4:7).

The truth is, we owe God everything; and therefore, are indebted to generously love others well because God first gave generously and loved us well.

What we give to the Lord and to others is so minuscule compared to what has been given to us by our Father through our Lord Jesus Christ.


Let us never assume we're so familiar with others and with God that we feel as if they owe us every good and no evil. And let us always be surprised and grateful for any act of kindness that comes our way. After all, we probably don't even realize the great sacrifice some people make in order to give us a widow's mite.

The next time you sense yourself feeling slighted or indignant about a kindness that wasn't given to you that you assuredly knew you deserved, look to the Cross. No true Christian can fix their eyes on Jesus' costly sacrifice and then turn to see themselves as anything more than an utterly humbled and grateful servant who feels as they should—unworthy of the price that had to be paid to set them free.

photo credit: www.Biblescreen.com

Yesterday, on my way home from the grocery store, I was overwhelmed by a very small act of kindness. Not one done to me, but one I was able to offer a total stranger.

As I neared a construction area in my neighborhood, I saw a man driving a truck wishing to come out of the alleyway. He was unable to because no one driving either north or south would allow him entrance onto the main road since we all had to share a single lane due to the construction. I understand. It was rush hour and everyone was trying to get home.

When it was my turn, and I had the right of way, I stopped and waved him in. He was hesitant and looked to the car coming southward, but they saw me and stopped too. The driver of the truck smiled, carefully drove out, and gave me a warm wave of thanks. I smiled, nodded and waved back. Then I smiled and waved at the driver who joined me in this very small act of kindness and they smiled and waved back.

Unexpectedly, as I thanked God for this opportunity to show a stranger this very small act of kindness...I began weeping. I was overtaken by the fact that I could experience such joy over something no one else involved in this situation would probably ever remember. I mean, this isn't the kind of thing anyone goes home and writes about (well...obviously...present company excluded). This very small act of kindness isn't something we'll eagerly tell our family and friends or even years from now, reminisce fondly and repeatedly tell our grandchildren about. It's simply a very, very, very small act of kindness.

So why am I writing about it? Why am I telling you about it? Why is this small act such a big deal?

It's a big deal because the instant I thanked God for allowing me to experience exuberant joy for such a small act of kindness, I realized how very depraved I am without Christ. As I thanked God for allowing me to notice that other person, the small need he had at the moment, and that I was able and desired to meet that need, filled me with joy.

Realizing I'm far too self-absorbed, selfish, and so many other words that begin with "self", to notice another human being, let alone a need they might have, I wept with thanksgiving in my heart to the Lord. In actuality, we're all a bit too self-something or other. We all complain too much, we all feel more entitled than we ought, and we all suffer from outright pride, or pride cloaked in self-loathing.

Our eyes are too fixed on self rather than on Jesus and that's why we disobey Him and why many won't acknowledge Him as who He is—the one true God, Creator of all we see and can't see, the King of kings, the Lord of lords and the only way of eternal salvation. Whether we want to admit it or not, and regardless of how meek a person may appear, disobedience to God in any form originates from pride. We all have it. And we all suffer from how it manifests itself—total human depravity.

But here's the thing, total depravity doesn't mean I'm as depraved as I can be and neither are you. Total depravity means we're all sinful and totally incapable of saving ourselves. But because of God's common grace, no human being is as depraved as they can be. Evil does not dominate the earth because God is God and He is gracious. The sun shines on both those who bear the righteousness of Christ as well as those who reject Him. God causes the rain to fall on the ground and bear fruit to feed both His children and His enemies.

Without God's common grace poured out to all creation, no human would be safe from constant evil bombarding them from their first breath to their last. None of us would ever be able to experience any joy in participating in any act of kindness, small or great because we simply wouldn't even think to do it. We're all too self-actuated. We are all that depraved (Rom 3:10-12).

Admitting I'm totally depraved without Christ isn't self-loathing. And it isn't depressing. It's actually an act of great confidence, that is, confidence in Christ's finished work on the Cross on my behalf. Those whom God has chosen to grant repentance that leads to saving faith, willingly bring and see all things in the light of God's truth so that it's clear that any and every good has been carried out by the mighty and compassionate hand of God (John 3:21)—even a very small act of kindness.

"For who sees anything different in you? What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?

"Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. Of his own will he brought us forth by the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures."

~1 Corinthians 4:7, James 1:16-18 (ESV)

Any good we receive comes from God, even our "good" acts (James 1:17). For He is the one who prepared them for us that we might walk in them.

"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." ~Eph 2:10

Let us, as God's dearly beloved children, always find our worth, our joy and our peace, not in the people around us or in our circumstances (whether good or evil), but in Christ alone—mindful and grateful that in God's grace, He gives us the good we are not owed—and in His mercy, He withholds the evil we are owed.

E.L. James (Erika Leonard James) born March 7, 1963, is only six years and 20 days older than me. She's a British author whose first book, Fifty Shades of Grey was a runaway success. She's married, and she and her husband  have two teenage sons (as of 2012, not sure how old they are now).

Many say her books were a surprise hit, but I don't agree. It's no surprise that this trilogy filled with every shade of evil, only proves what God already said—we're all depraved, and without Christ, we're actually drawn to darkness rather than repulsed by it.

"And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil." (John 3:19, ESV)

E.L. James gladly admits that Fifty Shades of Grey is her "midlife crisis, writ large. All my fantasies are there, and that's it." Some people purchase a new car or a new house; they get in shape, or find new hobbies when they have their midlife crisis. But poor E.L. James decided to infect millions of people (mostly women) with this book where she attempts to make a cesspool of evil look like a refreshing dip in clean, clear waters. But no matter how you dress it up, dung is dung.

With the heightened awareness of abuse (emotional, mental and physical) toward women, I'm surprised Hollywood would consider flinging this dung onto the big screen. Especially with the most recent Ray and Janay Rice incident and how poorly the NFL initially handled the situation—it seems odd. Everyone was appalled by watching a less than five minute video of Ray Rice abusing his then fiancée, Janay in the elevator. Yet, Hollywood thinks people actually want to sit for nearly two hours and watch a woman get violently abused?

I don't know. Perhaps millions will go see this movie. Perhaps all those who cried "Foul!" when Janay Rice was abused by Ray Rice forgot what they said they hated. Perhaps all those people who said they cared about a woman's welfare and dignity just lied...to themselves and to the public. I hope not.

James says this is a "love story." It is not. It is a scripted, sadistic fantasy. In reality, no one conquers evil (Christian Grey) by submitting to it (Ana Steele). Satan and his demonic legions aren't convinced of their wickedness by people submitting to his dominion of darkness. Satan and his demonic legions are conquered by God's holy, mighty and righteous acts. Only good conquers evil. And God alone is good.

It breaks my heart to think millions of unbelievers have been bewitched by this book of horrors (Rom 1:24-25). But when I hear professing Christian men and women have read and "enjoyed" this book filled with more than 50 shades of evil, I'm indignant. And according to God, every Christian should be (1 Cor 5:11-13).

"Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming. In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. But now you must put them all away: anger, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.

"As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, 'You shall be holy, for I am holy."

~Colossians 3:5-8, 1 Peter 1:14-16 (ESV)

Did I need to read this trilogy in order to recognize the evil oozing from the pages? No. Much like the caustic stench of death permeates the nostrils before one sees a week-old corpse, knowing the basic premise of the story line is enough.

The truth is: Real men don't dominate and abuse women—they cherish and protect them; and real women don't submit to immature fiends like Christian Grey.

Please don't misunderstand. Just because I'm calling a spade a spade doesn't mean I despise or have the slightest of ill feelings toward E.L. James. Rather, I feel great pity for her lost soul who, just like you and me, needs Jesus Christ. If ever I could sit down and have coffee, or a cup of tea with her, I'd greet her well and happily share the Good News of Jesus Christ with her. I pray the Lord will be pleased to grant her the gift of repentance that leads to salvation.

If you're reading this and you profess Christ as Lord, yet find even a slight hint of delight from this book that's an abomination before the sight of God, then please, I urge you—repent and seek godly counsel for your pleasure of sexual immorality.

If you're reading this and you're not a Christian, and enjoy this book, please know I am praying for your salvation. Only through repentance and faith in Jesus Christ can you be made acceptable before the sight of a holy God, have your sins forgiven, and conscience cleansed.