If God meant my salvation to be solely for the purpose of me knowing Him, fellowshiping with Him and fellow saints in spirit and in truth, then why am I still here? Because really, I can do all these things in Heaven. If these things were God's sole purpose, then God, who wastes nothing, would have let me die and called me to glory right after He gave me eternal life in Jesus Christ.

But He didn't. Why?

Because God's sole purpose in saving me wasn't just so I could go to church, remain in a Christian bubble and enjoy fellowship with Him and other believers. God's purpose in saving me and leaving me here on earth was so I could be salt and light to the world—an ambassador of Christ—holding fast to the Word of life in a crooked and perverse generation (Mt 5:13-16, Php 2:14-16).

My Father God has mercifully and abundantly given me the treasures of Heaven through the abiding life of Jesus Christ within me. To have Christ is to have everything. There is nothing greater in this life or the next. To know Christ as my Savior, to be claimed by Him as His own, to be loved perfectly in His holiness and righteousness, to be established as a child of the Most High God—provides the most infinite pleasures of being alive.

Because I have the greatest of all treasures (Jesus Christ) in this jar of clay (my body), though I might feel deep sorrow for the sad news I received this past Wednesday about my heart, I am not left to wallow in the cavernous pit of self, but I am given the great privilege to cry out to my Father and my God in the midst of my affliction. And as Christ did for His disciples when He walked this earth, He still does for us today...He immediately lifts us from sinking in our circumstances (Mt 14:29-31) and fixes our eyes back on Him...where they belong. So when I was told a few days ago that I have an uncommon heart arrhythmia called sick sinus syndrome on top of all my other ailments, and needed a pacemaker, I was disheartened that my tent (my body) continues to rapidly fall apart. But when I cried out the my Father God, as He promised, His Holy Spirit brought to mind all that Jesus has already taught me through His Word, and I was strengthened.

It seems I have many "uncommon" or rare diseases and conditions that constantly put me in the peculiar position of sharing with medical staff and others, why I believe the Lord has allowed these painful health issues to infiltrate my life. For example, when my Cardiologist confirmed what my Cardiac Electrophysiologist already told me the week prior (but I didn't want to believe him), that I needed a pacemaker, he said, "The reason why you need your arrhythmia treated with a pacemaker and possibly with a beta-blocker as well, is because you don't want to be driving down the highway at 65 mph and pass out, or go into cardiac arrest." I said, "Yes, that occurred to me after I had to swallow my pride about not wanting a pacemaker and get back on heart meds at age 46. But when I considered the possibility that my pride might cause injury or death to someone else, I was ready to receive whatever you were going to say I needed. I trust the Lord to speak through you." He quickly responded, "Well, you don't want to injure yourself either. I mean, you want to see 47, don't you?" I smiled and said nothing because I had already explained to him before that no matter what trials come in this life, including one that may take my life, Christ is always with me so I'm not concerned for myself, but for those who may not know Him.

I'm in a win-win situation; others may not be.

When I wonder why I am still here and why I can't go Home yet, rather than remain in my whining state, I speak the words of God to myself; some that I've shared here, and many others I've shared elsewhere. And when I turn away from looking at myself and my circumstances and lift my eyes to the hills where my help comes from—from the Maker of heaven and earth, I am where my soul most delights to be...at the feet of Jesus.

"Since we have these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from every defilement of body and spirit, bringing holiness to completion in the fear of God."

-2 Corinthians 7:1, ESV

It's been a while since I've shared anything about my physical health (my last post was in November 2014). Perhaps you thought the Lord healed me from my serious health afflictions...but He hasn't...yet. And that's okay with me.

I'm now entering my 11th year of constant and often debilitating pain, extreme fatigue, seven surgeries in seven years (my most recent was a few weeks ago). I'm also still adding new specialists to my already large repertoire (an Endocrinologist, Cardiac Electrophysiologist, Oral and Maxillofacial Surgeon, and more). In addition to all this, it looks as if I'm going to need at least one more, and possibly two surgeries this year (one for my hyperparathyroidism and the other for a cardiac pacemaker).

The reason it's been so long since I've shared anything about my continually declining health, is because I've wrongly concluded that it's better for me to encourage you rather than burden you with my seemingly, never-ending litany of trials. But when I was discussing this issue with my oldest son earlier today, I realized how wrong I've been not to share more about my weaknesses; because how then, can anyone see Christ's power manifested perfectly in me (2 Cor 12:9-10)?

Though our Father God has graciously allowed me to keep my heart and mind focused on the things eternal rather than on the things temporal—like my physical health, it's wrong of me not to share the pains of this journey with you. So please forgive me.

I want so much for you to be strengthened in your faith, to keep your sights vertical rather than horizontal, that I've neglected to show you how to do that when you're in the trenches...in the heat of the battle between your flesh's desire and your renewed desire to please and honor the Lord.

"Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves with the same way of thinking, for whoever has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, so as to live for the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for human passions but for the will of God. For the time that is past suffices for doing what the Gentiles want to do, living in sensuality, passions, drunkenness, orgies, drinking parties, and lawless idolatry. With respect to this they are surprised when you do not join them in the same flood of debauchery, and they malign you; but they will give account to him who is ready to judge the living and the dead. For this is why the gospel was preached even to those who are dead, that though judged in the flesh the way people are, they might live in the spirit the way God does."

-1 Peter 4:1-6, ESV

Because the focus of what I do is not for physical results (comfort and healing), my hope is not deferred and my fervor is not exhausted. Part of my daily regime is to eat healthy, exercise five to six days a week (though it's painful and makes me very ill), drink about 72 ounces of water plus juice daily, and do more than my doctors ask. I don't practice these disciplines because I love my body and want nothing more than to be healed, I do them because I love Christ and know my body belongs to Him, and not me (Gal 2:20).

Some people wrongly assume because I'm so disciplined, it means I'm not tempted by my sinful flesh to gratify it, rather than honor Christ. But I am often tempted and sometimes give into my temptations to be lazy and do nothing; to be mediocre, rather than do all things with excellence as unto the Lord. I'm constantly tempted by my flesh to be so self-absorbed, that at times, I more resemble a black-hole, than a light to the world.

I could use God's grace as an excuse to remain enslaved to my fleshly desires (saying, "I'm only human", "God's not finished with me yet" or "I'm a work in progress"), or I could avail the great and wonderfully freeing gift from God given only to Christians—repentance. My confidence in my Father's forgiveness endows me with spiritual strength to persevere; to run my course and to finish well with urgency, rather than be satisfied with complacency (1 Jn 1:9, Rom 5:1-5).

Sadly, this is not the same experience all professing Christians know and understand. Some who profess Christ as their Lord and Savior live like they're their own lord and savior. They praise Jesus when things go well. And they may even praise Jesus and express trust when trials come their way. But when God's refining fire tests their faith over an extended period of time, their false profession and fruitless deeds are consumed by God's holiness (1 Cor 13:5). As Jesus says, there are those who hear the Gospel and joyfully receive it, but once painful trials come their way, they turn away from the Word rather than turn to it (Lk 8:13).

Those who do not truly know God only "love" Him when they think they can get something by claiming association with Him; including false piety. But when the show of false piety during difficult times gets old, their quick and easy profession of trust in Jesus, just as quickly, produces self-righteous demands, even arrogantly accusing God of not keeping His promises.

Throughout Scripture, we see how our gracious and merciful Father God uses even the fall of man that brought sin and suffering to this world, as a tool to reveal to us where we truly stand with Him: still in our self-righteous sin, or justified by the righteous works of Christ (Gen 3:24, Rom 5:16).

Those who are truly saved will never turn away from God or accuse Him of wrongdoing. Rather, they will turn all the more to Him, crying out to Him night and day, seeking to repent of any sins that are obvious or oblivious to them; begging God to help them see Him clearly and love Him more dearly. Those who abide in Christ will hunger and thirst for righteousness and look to the LORD for help rather than try to seek comfort from unbelievers who can only provide temporal remedies for our physical bodies, but can offer no real comfort for our eternal souls.

I don't remain true to God because I'm holier than others. I remain true to God because I'm keenly aware of the wretch that I am; the utter depravity of my sinful heart and mind, and my growing ineptness to do anything worthy of being called good by the only One who is good. Because I'm so desperately insecure in myself and often terrified of what others think of me or might say or do to me, I cling to Christ all the more and desire to remain hid in Him because He is my Strong Tower—the only place I can be me and feel completely safe, compassionately accepted, perfectly loved, and profoundly secure.

My faith and the life I live are not strong because of me. My faith and life are strong because of the One who holds and owns them both—Jesus Christ the Lord (Gal 2:20).

As I continue to struggle physically and spiritually—to live a life that most pleases, honors and glorifies the Lord, I often grow weary of the fight and am tempted to give up. But when I cry out to the LORD, He lifts me from my miry pit and sets my feet on solid ground (Mt 11:28-30, Ps 40:1-3). If you do the same, you will receive same because I don't have any more of Jesus than you do (Gen 4:6-7). As Burk Parsons wisely said,"We don't need more of Jesus, just less of self. We already have all of Jesus."

"Not to us, O LORD, not to us. but to your name give glory, for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness! Why should the nations say, 'Where is your God?' Our God is in the heavens; he does all that he pleases.

"I lift my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth."

-Psalm 115:1-3; 121:1-2, ESV

On Friday, June 26, 2015 five of the nine justices of the Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS) vied themselves against the Supreme God of all creation with their calamitous decision to redefine a God-ordained institution—marriage—the union of one man and one woman—two becoming one flesh, by the declaration of God Almighty.

The liberty that was fought for by valiant men and women, and once mandated by the Constitution of the United States; for each state to have the right to legislate their own laws in these matters, through their elected officials—by the people, for the people, has now be relegated by five unelected officials whose arrogance has reached the highest heavens.  Due to the supreme foolishness of these Supreme Court justices (Sotomayer, Kagan, Ginsburg, Bryer and Kennedy) same-sexed marriages have now been legalized in all 50 states of my country; the country which I love.

There have been many news articles and blog posts about this sad day in American history. And I don’t desire to be another clamoring voice, spewing the same news. My desire is to do what God has given me to do in every aspect of my life; to speak the Gospel truth to a dying and depraved world that is passing away along with its desires, and to encourage the saints in Christ to not lose heart because all who do the will of God will abide forever (1 Jn 2:17).

Do not hate and damn our country, but love and pray for it (2 Timothy 2:24-26).

Just like the great prophets of old (Moses, Isaiah, Jeremiah, etc.) loved and prayed for God’s mercy upon the country He sovereignly put them in for His purpose, I too love and pray for my country because my Father God whom I love most, put me here to be a beacon of His hope, love, joy and peace found only in Jesus Christ His Son. So when I see our country being drowned in the cesspools of sexual immorality and pragmatism, my heart is deeply grieved and my knees are bent in prayer. I pray for the five justices who are under Satan’s yoke to do his will because God has chosen to blind them from the truth. I pray for God to have mercy on them, just as He’s had mercy on me. I pray for the petitioners of this suit, and others who revel in sin, that God would grant them the gift of repentance that leads to saving faith in Jesus Christ His Son—the only Mediator between God and man.

Do not be dismayed, but remain steadfast and immovable in the Lord, His Word, and His precepts (1 Peter 4:12-14).

The recent ruling of the Supreme Court of the United States can’t thwart nor does it remotely hinder the everlasting ruling of the only Supreme and Sovereign—God Almighty. When SCOTUS informed the world of their stupendous decision to test the Great I AM, the LORD was not surprised and He was not dismayed; so neither shall His people be.

Much like the presumptuous kings and rulers who had no fear of God, during the days of the prophet Jeremiah (Jer 36:23-32), the “kings” of our day recklessly think that by “burning” (redefining and ignoring) God’s decrees like King Jehoiakim did, they will be able to stop the destruction God mercifully warned would come to pass if they did not repent. And just as King Jehoiakim was suddenly swept away by his willful defiance of God’s admonition, the same will happen to anyone who does the same.

This is a time of great testing for all who profess the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Those who choose to condone, celebrate or remain silent for fear of retribution will only prove that their profession is dead. Neither listen to nor entertain the words of those who profess Christ, yet join in the revelry of any sin. Rather rebuke and urge them to repent.

I pray that when we come before our Lord Jesus, on the last day, we will not be ashamed, for we will not come to our King  empty-handed, but will come with a harvest of righteousness that was sown in the peace of God (James 3:18). And on that great day, I pray that we would all hear our Lord say, “You have done a beautiful thing to Me.” (Mark 14:6)

May the grace and peace of Christ our Lord be multiplied to your spirits. Stand fast.

Additional resources:

John MacArthur’s Exhortation to Believers

Audacity Movie—Loving Homosexuals God’s Way

SCOTUS Decision on Same-Sex Marriages

You've most likely already heard about Tullian Tchividjian's wife's affair, and his reciprocal affair that required his resignation as Pastor of Coral Ridge Presbyterian in Fort Lauderdale, Florida (1 Tim 3:1-7). This announcement has stirred a media and social media frenzy; attracting both prayers and piranhas.

I can't imagine what it's like to live a life through the magnified lens of the media, the favoritism of followers, and un-Christlike criticism of detractors. The majority of us can't imagine that either, but we're so quick to condemn, excuse or join whatever seems to be the most popular position (at the moment). We make quick assertions, often, without stopping long enough to seek God's precepts.

"There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."

-Proverbs 12:18, ESV

We're commanded by God our Father to weep with those who weep. And anyone in their right mind and with a right heart would be lamenting because of this news, rather than rejoicing. If we're commanded by God not to rejoice when our enemies fall (Prov 24:17), how much less ought we not rejoice when a brother and sister in Christ fall? Neither, you, nor I, nor Tullian, his wife, or any other human being who has walked this earth (save Jesus Christ) is sinless. And yes, I know that those who are in leadership (specifically those who teach the Word of God) are held to a higher standard, but that isn't God's approval for us to rail against Tullian or his wife and anyone else involved in their sins.

It is our duty and joy as God's holy and beloved children to pray for our brother Tullian, his wife Kim, their three precious children and the church family at Coral Ridge. Being mindful of the fact that none of us can claim being incapable of committing the same sin, and that we're only saved by God's gracious gift of repentance and faith in Jesus; we can humbly and lovingly pray for those who sin differently from us rather than condemn; supposing our sins are better. All sin is utterly putrid before the sight of our holy God and Father.

Please know, I'm not making excuses for Tullian's sin (and neither should you) just because he's a celebrity pastor, or "just a human being"; because before he is anything, he is a child of God Almighty who's been endowed with the same grace (the power in Christ to die to sin, Romans 6:14, 18) that every Christian has been given. Rather than rejoice in his demise, my heart breaks for him, his wife, their three children, and their church. Which is why I'm moved to fervently pray on behalf of (not against) all of them. And  I beseech you to do the same.

For those who think I'm writing this because I'm one of Tullian's followers, rest assured, I am not. I'm actually one of those who warn people not to follow him or his teachings because though he denies being an antinomian, the majority of his teachings mimic this liberal teaching of God's grace (Tullian's teachings magnify the power of sin and diminishes the power God's grace to overcome sin). I'm also deeply concerned about his resemblance to Adam by saying "I sinned because my wife sinned." One of the first priorities of a husband is to be a covering, a protection for his wife; but he didn't—he exposed her to ridicule. Therefore, it's reasonable to question the validity of his repentance since he didn't simply say, "I disqualified myself by committing adultery." Because honestly, it wasn't his wife's sin that disqualified him to be a pastor, it was his sin.

But opposing his teachings and questioning the integrity of his repentance is far different than rejoicing in, and self-righteously clamoring about his sin. I don't rejoice. I weep. And I pray...fervently pray for the restoration of his marriage, but most especially, his and Kim's restoration of intimacy with Christ our Lord; for every sin depreciates the inexpressible joy and peace of communing with our Creator.

"Now if anyone has caused pain, he has caused it not to me, but in some measure—not to put it too severely—to all of you. For such a one, this punishment by the majority is enough, so you should rather turn to forgive and comfort him, or he may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. So I beg you to reaffirm your love for him. For this is why I wrote, that I might test you and know whether you are obedient in everything."

-2 Corinthians 2:5-9, ESV