“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.”
~ 3 John 1:4

“The friendship [secret counsel] of the LORD is for those who fear Him, and He makes known to them His covenant.”

With joy, my husband helps me with everything from giving me my pain meds before I can get out of bed in the morning, to helping me get up, sit down, serve me every drink, food, book or any little thing I need. I very rarely move out of this seat I am presently sitting in and think it has taken the shape of my body by now. Without any hesitation, my darling husband gets up instantly with great delight at my every call and need. The laundry has been done; the house is clean and in order. If I get up, I am instantly sat back down. I am only allowed my necessary walks around the house or out to the mailbox to aid in my healing. I breathe into my little lung machine to keep my respiratory strength, and that’s about it for the day. And, oh how I am gaining more strength daily! But of course – it’s due to the fact that my joy in the Lord is increasing daily! And that which is physical always follows after that which is spiritual.

And what has the LORD done in the hearts of my children as they witness Christ’s love so perfectly demonstrated through my husband? Both my boys have taught themselves how to cook! They clean everything, and cook for me during the day.

I am served ham and cheese toaster sandwiches, breaded cheese balls, spaghetti, and have even been offered to have chicken parmigiana made for me. The boys have determined to go to bed early, so they may rise early to have their praise and quiet time with the LORD before they serve me in the morning. They said they’re doing this because whether I am awake yet or not, they want to be ready to serve me, first thing.

Last night, one of our oldest son’s friends dropped off some food his mom had made for our family. He then invited our oldest son to play basketball with him and another friend. Our son returned about an hour and a half before his curfew stating, “It was fun, but I don’t think I’ll be doing that again.” I asked why and he answered, “Well, Mama, I like hanging out with my friends, and maybe it would’ve been fine if we hung out during the day. But at night, I’d really rather be home with my family. I like being here better and really missed everyone. I need to be here at night. Being with friends is okay, but I just like being here with my family better. And that’s how I like to end my day.”

A teenage son doesn’t say that, nor do two teenagers behave this way because they have great parents. No this is a miracle and can only be accomplished by children who know the Lord and have tasted and seen that He is good. Compared to the Lord, the world and all it has to offer is, well…as our oldest son put it – just, okay.

To have a husband who loves me like Christ loves the Church, two teenage boys who sacrifice with joy and great pleasure to serve me….this is not from man, no this is a miracle and only God works miracles. And I get to be the humbled and honored recipient of such a great work of God!

Is there any greater joy than knowing the LORD? No, there is most certainly not! The more I know about my awesome God, the greater my joy increases! For although one of the greatest joys is to know that our children are walking in truth, there is no joy that surpasses knowing Christ Jesus, my Savior who is my Life!

“Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For His sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ.”
~ Philippians 3:8
(emphasis added)

“For no one can lay a foundation other than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. Now if anyone builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw – each one’s work will become manifest, for the Day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire, and the fire will test what sort of work each one has done. If the work that anyone has built on the foundation survives, he will receive a reward. If anyone’s work is burned up, he will suffer loss, though he himself will be saved, but only as through fire.”
1 Corinthians 3:11-15

The battle against mediocrity is constant indeed! We all struggle with the temptation to “just get by”. I know I sure do! Maybe it’s not throughout my entire life, but it creeps in here and there with what I might consider to be the “little” things. But as I tell my boys, “the little things will eventually add up, then will be too big to handle, so handle it now, while it’s still ‘little’ ”.

For example, during the summer between my Freshman and Sophomore year, I’d wake up 3 days a week at 5:30 a.m. to row, so I could improve my stroke, get stronger and learn to row both port and starboard. I didn’t want to stay in the Novice Boat forever and wanted to have a chance to row in the elite Lightweight Girls boat the upcoming school year. The Lightweight Girls boat was normally filled with seasoned Junior and Senior girls, not a second year Sophomore. I hated being Bow (which was my seat position in one of the novice boats during my Freshman year). Bow meant you were the person that basically did nothing else, but helped keep the boat on even keel. The entire crew is dependent on every rower to help keep the boat on keel. If one person’s oar is raised lower or higher, then it drastically affects the momentum of the boat as it causes the boat to rock which inhibits it from smoothly propelling through the water. But I wanted to do more than the very least that was expected  of every crew member. I trained Monday through Friday, two hours per day to row a 1500 meter race in 6 minutes or less. That’s a lot of prep work for a little “show” time.

Well, my hard work during the summer paid off, and Coach Steven Weir, after trying me at every seat from Bow 1 all the way up to Stroke (the lead seat), assigned me as the Stroke for the T.C. Williams Girls’ Lightweight 8! Not only did I make it to the boat I wanted to row in, but I was Stroke! Unfortunately, this got to my head and Coach Weir had to teach me a lesson. One day, I skipped practice. No reason, really. I was just tired and after all, I was Stoke, so I wasn’t the one who needed the most work, it was everyone else. I didn’t tell Coach why I skipped, but he knew and said that I could not row Stroke for the Regatta that weekend. I would have to take the seat behind me, the 7 seat. That was the first race we lost and boy did I hear it from all the girls! They badgered me with how I let the team down, and how lame my excuse was. Of course, I attempted to blame it on Coach because he’s the one who took me out of the Stroke seat. But no one bought my reasoning and just said, “Yeah, but if you hadn’t skipped practice, he wouldn’t have taken you out of the Stroke seat!” The person I really felt bad for was the lonely Freshman who also made it to the Girls’ Lightweight 8 and was the one who took my seat for that race.

I learned that day that, ironically, the word mediocrity starts with me - in more ways than one. I can decide to either live fully for Christ, with excellence in all that I do and leave the result to Him, or I can make excuses and convince myself that I could indulge myself in my laziness, just this once. But it never stays at just once does it? That’s the pitfall of mediocrity. After the first step into it, the other steps don’t seem so hard. Unfortunately, because we’re too busy indulging ourselves in our laziness, we don’t even realize the slow roast of mediocrity as it worms it’s way into every aspect of our lives. Before we know it, we’ve become someone we never meant to be and look back only to witness the wake of careless work, weak relationships, and constant chaotic situations, all casualties of me-diocrity.

Therefore, I have a choice to make daily. Will I settle for mediocrity or will I resolve to live as if everything I do and think is for my Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ (Galatians 2:20, Ephesians 6:5-7). If I do the latter, I know I will do all things in the most excellent way (1 Corinthians 12:31 – 13) with love, God’s faithful, steadfast, self-sacrificing love. Not self-indulging, self-centered mediocre love. And the wake I leave behind will not be one of fumbled mishaps, but one with little regrets, and the greatest joy…making my Savior smile!

By the time you read this, I should be at home recovering. As a matter of fact the last few posts you’ve read were written prior to my surgery and were set to post during my stay in the hospital.

For the past four years, I have been very ill. I’ve had endless tests and procedures performed, had two (this being my second) surgeries in seven months, and I’ve even been radioactive! I was glowing from the inside…but we already knew that because the Holy Spirit of God lives in me!

Due to my ever-declining health these past four years, I’ve been very limited in my activities due to frequent debilitating pain and exhaustion. I often felt I was a great burden on my family (they completely disagree, but I’ve struggled with this thought). Many times I asked my Heavenly Father if there was a sin I committed that I was too dunce to recognize, and if He was choosing to reveal it to me through the discipline of this trial. If this was the case, I begged God to make my sin clear to me so that I might learn this lesson and no longer cause my family any further stress due to my personal sin. I also asked if this was happening because of another purpose that didn’t have anything to do with a personal sin issue, could He tell me. But I received no answer except the same one given to the Apostle Paul:

“My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.”
~ 2 Corinthians 12:9

The more I learn about God, the more I realize how very little I know about Him. Because God is so awesome, so great, and so beyond any possible comprehension, my soul is constantly moved to be captivated by Him and His merciful love towards me.

Often, we are all so quick to judge (condemn) one another when God allows successive trials to come our way. I know, because I’ve been guilty of this myself. I suppose that’s why my first question to God was to ask if I had sinned and was being disciplined.

One of the things I’ve learned about my awesome Father God is how He answers His children…and He always does. Sometimes He answers, “Yes”, sometimes, “No”, sometimes, “Wait”, and sometimes, “My grace is sufficient, trust Me.”

God is God and doesn’t owe me an explanation for anything He chooses to do, for all His ways are perfect, good and just. But sometimes He does explain things to His little children, and there are times He doesn’t. One of the reasons He doesn’t is because if He did, due to our finite minds, we wouldn’t understand it any way (1 Corinthians 13:11-12), but in Heaven we will! Another reason is we might do evil with the knowledge He gave us. And since God is not evil, though we may ask Him for something, He will not give it to us, lest we sin (James 4:3).

Therefore I will lay myself down so that my Lord and Savior Christ Jesus may be exalted and lifted up (Galatians 2:20). I choose to relinquish all my desires to increase my knowledge only for personal gain, as well as all of my preconceived dreams of what I’ve always imagined my life would be. Instead, I choose to completely trust my God and Savior for ever breath, during every trial and in every victory, for they are all in Christ alone. And I will steadfastly seek to save the lost regardless of my physical state, trusting it is Christ who proclaims His Gospel through me. May Christ alone receive all glory, honor and praise for any good manifested in my life. For He alone is worthy!

Therefore my soul cries out:

“For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
~ 2 Corinthians 12:10
(emphasis added)