Last week, I received an email from one of my reader's who asked me a few questions regarding Christians divorcing and remarrying.

Before I share my answer I'd like to say a few things:

First, I'd like to state that my answer is strictly based on God's word regarding His children's involvement in both divorce and remarriage. I am neither condemning nor supporting any of you (or those you love) who have divorced and remarried in a way that is unbiblical. I am very aware that we are all sinners, and by God's generous grace, He has provided us forgiveness for all our sins by the shed blood of His one and only begotten Son, Christ Jesus our Lord and Savior. Therefore, if you have participated in an unbiblical divorce and/or remarriage, I encourage you to repent of sins before God, carefully listen to His admonition and teach others what He has graciously taught you, then thank God for His forgiveness and His continued blessings He bestows on your life because He is faithful even when we are not. Then move on from this place and let it burden you no more. As God's holy and dearly loved children, we ought never allow our past sins to deem us ineffective for future Kingdom work (Isaiah 43:19, Philippians 3:13-14); instead we ought to share our past sins (when/where appropriate) as a spring-board to teach others of God's immeasurable grace, mercy and love as we encourage them (just as we have been) to "go and sin no more" (John 5:14, 8:11) as you give glory and praise to God for His miraculous work of restoration.

Second, I want so much to bring God's peace and harmony and truth to all of you. Divorce is a very difficult trial that has come to many of us who have been called by God and I I know you have already suffered much, and I don't desire to bring you any further grief or pain by my answer. Instead, my prayer has been that through my answer, God will grant you much peace (regarding your divorce and/or remarriage) where there was no peace; that God will grant you comfort and clear answers through His word so that you may stand firm in His view of you and not in the opinions of others (even other brothers and sisters in Christ); and also that our Father in Heaven will spur you on toward love and good deeds without the cloud of condemnation, guilt and shame you may have or still are experiencing right now due to your divorce and/or remarriage.

Third, my prayer has been that through my answer, the Lord will call His children to return to His high view of marriage so that His word may not be maligned due to the current divorce rate in the church being the same as the divorce rate of those in this world. I pray that my answer will be used by God to build up every believer in the faith, impart much grace to the hearers (or readers in this case) and will demonstrate not my own fallible opinions, but the wisdom of God that is first of all pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.

The word "divorce" is mentioned 43 times in the Bible (24 in the OT and 19 in the NT). In order to illustrate God's view of marriage and also to keep this answer from being ineffective, I will use three passages from the OT and nine from the NT that pertain to this reader's specific question.

Due to the hardness of the Jewish mens' hearts at the time (Matthew 19:8), Moses "allowed" a man to divorce his wife, but only in the case where she commits sexual immorality (the HEBREW word used here for sexual immorality is 'ervah, which means "nakedness and includes sexual indecency, fornication and adultery"). Moses did not make this "allowance" in opposition to God who clearly states that He hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). Instead, Moses put this "allowance" into place to protect women who lived during this time from being divorced for any reason (Matthew 19:3), as was commonly practiced. But notice that a man is not commanded to divorce his wife in the case of her sexually immoral behavior, but he is only permitted to divorce her if he is not able to withstand the heartache (and/or trust God) to reconcile all things in His perfect timing.

** NOTE: In all cases of sins against one another, God makes His preference for forgiveness, mercy and reconciliation clear all throughout His word.**

Moses does not mention here that a woman can divorce her husband because that was strictly against Jewish law and at that time, women did not have this right. Instead, it was expected that if a godly woman were married to a harsh and ungodly man, she would entrust herself to the one who judges justly (1 Peter 2:20b - 23), the Lord God, who alone is her Helper, Defender and Protector in times of trouble; and this word still holds true today.

The LORD God states that He divorced His people Israel due to their sins; their adulteress ways. The Lord also mentions later in both Isaiah 50 and Jeremiah 3, that He also restores those in Israel who will obey the voice of the Lord and return to Him when Jesus comes. We see here that the LORD clearly states that His people Israel had broken the written covenant (the Law) with Him through their practice of sexual immorality; therefore, He divorced them. Then He makes a new covenant with them, not by the letter of the Law, for the letter kills, but by the grace of God's Spirit that gives life (2 Corinthians 3:6); through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, the Father makes for His Son, a new bride - the Church, who has been cleansed of all her sins (Revelation 19:7-8); born of water and the Spirit and no longer flesh of flesh (John 3:5-6).

There are several passages in the gospels where Jesus teaches on the subject of God's people divorcing and remarrying: Matthew 1:19, 5:31-32, 19:1-9, Mark 10:1-12, Luke 16:18 as well as a couple of passages in the writings of the Apostle Paul: Romans 7:1-3 and 1 Corinthians 7:8-15, 39.

"And her [Mary's] husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly." We see here clearly that Joseph was "just" in being resolved to divorce Mary due to her seemingly sexually immoral behavior. But the Lord graciously sends an angel to tell Joseph that Mary had not been sexually immoral, but instead had conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit; therefore it was "just" and right for him to marry her.

"And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery." Which means if a man's wife has been sexual immoral, he is free to marry another without committing adultery, but if she has not been sexual immoral and he divorces her, and remarries, he will be an adulterer, for he will be the first to break the marriage covenant and not her. This is the only place in Scripture where I found Jesus stating that remarriage of the "innocent" party is permitted; in the case of sexual immorality by a spouse.

It used to be my understanding that since the Lord Jesus does not mention here or in any of the gospels that a woman can divorce her husband, that meant that a woman did not have the right to do so. But as I continued to pray and meditate on God's word, I have come to realize that Jesus was speaking to the Jews (which in their custom, women did not have equal rights as men) and our Lord was only answering the question the Pharisees posed to Him regarding the husband's responsibility in marriage and not the wife's.

In order to understand God's eternal words, we must first search His word, while carefully listening to the counsel of His Holy Spirit that we might rightly interpret Scripture according to the mind of God and not according to the ways or inclinations of man (1 Corinthians 2:10-13). From this truth, we can safely ascertain that while Christ upheld the order in which a Christian household should be maintained (husband is the "head", etc.), Jesus never missed an opportunity to show the Jewish men that He gave women equal value and worth as He did men (e.g. in Jewish synagogues women could not enter where the men were, but Jesus allowed women to travel with Him and stay just as close to Him as the men; and when Jesus resurrected on the Third Day, He chose to first appear to a woman and sent her to tell the brothers). Therefore, it seems clear that if our Lord Jesus permitted a man to divorce his wife due to his wife's sexual immorality, and remarry without becoming an adulterer, then we can be assured that our gracious Lord Jesus has granted this allowance to women as well.

**Again, I can not stress this enough, although our Lord permitted this one and only reason for biblical divorce and remarriage of the innocent party, He always advocates mercy, forgiveness and reconciliation over judgment and the breaking of any bond between Christians (James 2:13).**

The GREEK word used for "divorce" in these passages is: apoluo which means, "to release, to set free, to dismiss from one's house, send away".

The GREEK word used for "divorce" in these two passages is: chorizo, meaning "to separate, to divide, put asunder, divorce".

Interestingly, the Apostle Paul uses a completely different GREEK word for "divorce": aphiemi which means, "to abandon, leave destitute, wrongly desert".

You might be asking "Why were three different GREEK words used to describe divorce?" The answer is because each word illustrated three different circumstances in which divorce occurred.

This word is used when God grants the innocent party, permission to be released from the marriage covenant from a spouse who has behaved in a sexual immoral way; as the sexually immoral spouse has "cut off" his own body and bound it with another.

The writer uses this word to remind the hearers that it is not permitted by God for a husband to put asunder ("cut off) that which God has made one, for any reason he chooses.

This word is used to strongly admonish a Christian husband that he must not unbiblically abandon his Christian wife (which is the point Jesus was making in the previously mentioned gospels).

Included in this first question, the reader cites two Scripture passages regarding a Christian's divorce and remarriage: 1 Corinthians 7 (more specifically, vv. 11 and 15) and Matthew 19:9.

1 Corinthians 7:11 is not referring to a Christian woman who has separated or divorced her husband due to abandonment. Instead, in this verse, the Apostle Paul, through the Spirit of Christ is commanding a Christian woman to never separate herself or divorce herself from her Christian husband, but that she must die to self, submit herself to God and her Christian husband in order to keep the bond of peace in the Holy Spirit by which they have become one in the body. The Apostle Paul also states that should a Christian woman sin by either separating herself or divorcing herself from her husband (except in the case of her husband's sexual immorality), God is still gracious and merciful and upon her repentance, He will either reconcile her to her husband or give her the gift of remaining single (Matthew 19:10-12). This is obviously a case-by-case situation and no one can speak for another as to whether or not God has granted them the gift of remaining single. We ought never to judge another brother or sister in Christ, for we know not what the Lord has commanded them in their hearts (James 4:11-12). This is strictly between them and the Lord and if we must assume one way or the other, then as Christians we ought to assume the best of our brothers and sisters and impart to them much grace; just as God has given it to us.

In 1 Corinthians 7:15 the Apostle Paul is specifically addressing Christian men and women married to unbelieving spouses who desire to divorce them due to their faith in Christ causing discord in their marriage. As Christians, we are admonished to live at peace with everyone, as much as it is up to us (Romans 12:18). But if an unbelieving spouse is the instigator of strife in the life of their Christian spouse because of their faith (and not because the Christian spouse is behaving in a manner unworthy of the Lord [1 Peter 2:16, 20]), then Scripture says that the Christian spouse is "free" to let the unbelieving spouse file for divorce. This Scripture however does not state that the Christian spouse is the one who should file for the divorce or should choose to leave because he/she is married to an unbeliever (1 Corinthians 7:12-14).

1 Corinthians 7:15 is sadly one of the most misinterpreted verses of Scripture and has unfortunately been used by many Christians as an excuse to divorce their unbelieving spouse and remarry a Christian spouse. In this verse, the Apostle Paul does not mention the Christian's spouses option to leave an unbelieving spouse, nor does he state that once divorced, the Christian spouse is permitted to remarry. As a matter of fact, the GREEK word used in v. 15 for "bound" is douloo which means, "to make a slave (bondservant), to give oneself wholly to another's needs and service". Which is very different from the GREEK word used in 1 Corinthians 7:39 and Romans 7:2 where the GREEK word used for "bound" is deo which means, "to bind, fasten, put under obligation of the law, to be bound to one as a husband or wife".

Therefore, we can clearly conclude that when Paul wrote that a Christian is not "bound" in such a case, he was stating that unlike what he mentioned in the previous verses (10-11 regarding Christians who are equally yoked), a Christian who is unequally yoked is not "bound" to make peace, serve, or submit to an unbelieving spouse who desires to divorce them. Instead, the Christian spouse is "free" to allow the unbelieving spouse to leave and file for the divorce. What Paul does not mention here is whether or not the Lord our God permits the Christian man/woman (whom an unbelieving spouse divorced) is free to remarry. Therefore, where God has not clearly revealed His will, I choose to stay silent on the matter, for I fear the LORD God Almighty too much to presume.

According to Scripture the brothers/sisters in Christ whom we are not to associate with are those who continually practice sexual immorality (i.e., sexual indecency, adultery, homosexuality, lesbianism, etc.), greed, idolatry, revilers (people who speak disgracefully or defamatory of others), drunkards, swindlers and those who continue in idleness (1 Corinthians 5:11, 2 Thessalonians 3:6).

If you have solid evidence (it can't just be a "hunch" or from "word-of-mouth") that a believer is habitually living in any of the sins listed above, then biblically, you are commanded to break fellowship with them, but only after rebuking them in love. But if you do not have solid evidence of this, it is unbiblical for you to break fellowship/disassociate yourself with them.

Breaking fellowship/association with another believer is only applied in order to allow them to clearly see their sin for the sake of their repentance and restoration in their personal walk with Christ and with other believers (2 Corinthians 2:5-8, Galatians 6:1). That's why Paul writes in verse 6, "For such a one, this [breaking fellowship] punishment by the majority is enough," for a believer who has been convinced of his sin before God and possibly others; confessed and repentant of his/her sins and have asked for forgiveness ought to be gladly and lovingly (with no strings attached) restored to the fellowship of believers. Breaking fellowship with another believer should never been done in joy, malice or out of conceit, but it must only be done out of Christ's love, humility and with the hopes of their repentance for the purpose of their good, not yours.

Yes, you should absolutely discuss this with her, as there is much that is unknown and unclear regarding her divorce and remarriage. As children of God, we ought to always in love, desire to bring all things into the light so that everything may be clearly seen whether or not all things have been carried out in God (John 3:21). Following are some questions you might want to ask her:

Prayerfully consider what the Lord will have you discuss with her, keeping in mind and meditating on: Ephesians 4:29, 2 Timothy 2:24-26 and James 3:17-18. I will be in prayer for you as well.

May the LORD our God direct your heart to His love and to the steadfastness of Christ Jesus our Savior.

ADVENT ~ Day 26

December 24, 2009

Scripture Passage:
READ 1 John 3:11-18

Today is our the last day of our Advent - that is, preparing our hearts, minds and souls for the day we celebrate the first coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. Tomorrow, many will come to give honor, glory and thanksgiving to our God Most High for His greatest and most generous Gift to all mankind; His one and only begotten Son. And sadly, tomorrow, many will also come to celebrate, having no idea what this glorious and holy day means.

Therefore, let those of us who know Christ and God's abundant love, deeply meditate on the meaning of that awesome love today.

Our Father God's love for us is abundant: extremely plentiful; overflowing fullness, exceeding the bounds of our imaginations and goes beyond what any of us could ever deserve.

He didn't pay for us with the fleeting, rotting, things of this world. No, instead He paid for us with His very life. Our Lord Jesus, left Heaven; willingly bound and limited Himself in human flesh, lived among us, ate with us, cried with us, felt hunger and pains He had never felt in Heaven. Our Lord Jesus chose to to put Himself in our place and sit with us in our troubles. Jesus did not come rescue us only out of our troubles, for even we can do that for others (and only to a certain point). But He chose to sit in our troubles with us and felt our pain and suffering; then went far beyond, and suffered what we could never bear.

Often, we think the best way to intercede for others is to "fix" their problems. We think if we feed the hungry, clothe the poor, send money to dig wells to give drink to the thirsty we are sharing Christ's life and love with them. But are we? I say that we are not - at least not completely and not abundantly; not like Jesus, that is.

If we merely spare them or rescue them out of their earthly, physical troubles, while we sit in the comfort of our own homes; if we merely send money and sit quietly and pray; yet we do not physically go and sit in their troubles with them, sharing the Gospel of God's mercy and grace, fully demonstrated in Christ Jesus alone, then have we loved others as Christ has loved us - with abundance? I say we have not.

Let us do all these good things, but let us not neglect to go to the hungry, go to the poor, go to the thirsty and be the hands of feet of Christ by touching them, like He touched us. When you feed the hungry, give them a hug - a long, tight, Christ-loving hug. Then tell them the Good News of Christ. If you feed them without preaching the Gospel, then you have merely provided them with temporary relief from their physical pains, but have left their souls just as hungry and destitute as it was before. Therefore, you have accomplished nothing.

The homeless and hungry are not surprised anymore if someone feeds them and/or clothes them; no instead, they expect it. But they are surprised when you sit with them, when you hold them and stay by their side while they eat. No one but Jesus would do that. We say, "But they really smell bad." This is true, but you know what? Our sins are more putrid than the stench of a cesspool in the nostrils of our holy God and He touched us, kissed us and held us anyway. How do I know this for sure? Because we can give a homeless person a bath and their foul smell will be washed away with merely some soap and water. As a matter of fact, even if we all bathed in a cesspool, our foul smell can be washed away with soap and water, along with some other things God has created to help us get clean from the filth of this earth and our bodies. But I know for a fact that our sins are worse, more putrid than this because only the blood of Jesus could cleanse us, for Jesus cried out,

"My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as i will, but as You will."

~ Matthew 26:39

And we know for certain that truly, if there was any other way, God the Father would have more than gladly spared His one and only begotten Son, just as Jesus asked. But there was obviously nothing in all  of God's creation that was powerful enough, pure enough and  holy enough to clean the stench and filth of our sins -  only  the pure, perfect, holy and powerful blood of Jesus Christ, God incarnate is able to cleanse us from our abominable sins.

We so often think we have to go to some foreign land to be the hands and feet of Jesus. But look all around you. As Jesus said, we will always have the poor and hungry all around us; and we do.

There are plenty around here who are thirsty, and there are plenty here in America who are naked and who are need of the physical touch of Christ Jesus our Lord. And there are plenty of lost souls here in America that desperately need disciples of Christ to feed, give drink and clothe their cold, naked, hungry, thirsty dead souls.

So if you want to pray for someone, go to them and pray for them. Go to the abortion clinics and offer prayer to those who are there. Take Gospel tracts with you that do not water down God's truth, but opens the eyes  of their hearts that clearly reveal to them that they are sinners in desperate need of a Savior.

If we're going to do "good", then we must do it like Jesus, for we know, that no one is good, but God. Therefore, if we do "good" deeds, but not in the name of Jesus (meaning in His likeness, with His character), then we are not doing "good", but only something that might seem "nice". For if God alone is good, anything absent of God is absent of good.

Thought to ponder:

Gracious Lord God in Heaven, thank You for Your abundant love poured out on us in Christ Jesus our Savior! Thank You for despising us not, but loving us still. Teach us Father to love like you; without ceasing and without judgment or personal cares. Teach us Father to give our lives away, just the way Jesus did. As we come closer to celebrating the first coming of Your Son, Father, help us to remember why He came and how He came in humility and abundant love; and send us out with His heart.

May You be well pleased with our offering of abundant love for You, as we love others abundantly in Your Name. Amen

ADVENT ~ Day 25

December 23, 2009

Scripture Passage:
READ Galatians 4:1-31

Today, I'm combining my Word-Filled Wednesdays post with the Advent devotional, as the Key Verse for today's devotional has really impressed upon my heart who we really are - without Christ.

As I read our Scripture Passage today, my heart rejoiced in the fact that I am a child of The Promise. An adopted child, born of God, through faith in Jesus Christ's first coming, His virgin birth, His perfect sinless life, His atonement for my sins, His death, His resurrection and His second coming.

And then my eyes and heart stopped and rested on two verses: "But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons." (Galatians 4:4-5)

I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that Jesus, the Son of God, left Heaven. In Heaven, Jesus was rightly worshiped and adored, He was unconditionally obeyed and lived in the splendor of His own glory. He left that, to come here and purposely allow Himself to be bound by human flesh. I don't know what Heaven looks like because there is nothing we know of here on earth that's even comparable, but I do know this for certain: When we all get to Heaven, we'll ask, "Jesus, YOU left this for me?" I am humbled and overwhelmed by this truth.

Have you ever tried to sing a praise song and worship God while you're still in angst about something here: Whether it's something with your spouse, your kids, friends, or just plain 'ol anxieties about how you think things ought to be? I have, and you know what? It doesn't work! When I get this way, our gracious Father is always so kind and gracious to remind me that I must first choose to mortify the desires of my flesh and resolve to know nothing but Christ crucified. It is only then that the same Holy Spirit who raised Jesus from the dead, will also raise me to walk in step with Him (Galatians 5:25).

Thoughts to ponder:
Much like this little boy in today's Scripture-picture, we were once lost orphans, hungry and poor. But in God the Father's infinite love and abounding compassion, He chose to adopt us, to pay for us - with His own Son's blood. In order for this poor, hungry and homeless child to live with his adopted Father, he'll have to leave his worldly possessions and comforts behind. What do you think they would be? His dirty coat? His filthy clothes? Charms or trinkets he's collected to make him feel special? What about you? What natural affinities, natural comforts and natural attachments will you have to leave behind, both tangible and intangible, in order to live as if you are truly an adopted child of the King of kings?

Merciful Father, my glorious Love, You have captured my heart!

Why have you called me Your own? Why did you choose to touch me when I was stained with all my guilt? Why did you choose to wash me with the blood of Your one and only Son? Why Lord? Why such a great sacrifice, for such a lowly and wretched soul?

My eyes have never seen You. Yet my heart knows You. Thank You Father, for working the impossible in my life. Thank You for choosing me, so that I could choose You. May this Christmas be different. May my celebration of Jesus' first coming be founded in why He came. And may I live as if I believe You.

ADVENT ~ Day 23

December 21, 2009

Scripture Passage:
READ Isaiah 60:1-5

I've mentioned before that I am not the sharpest pencil in the pack, therefore I don't understand many things as other people do. Often it takes me quite some time to really perceive what someone is saying, as the meaning often seems to escape me.

Knowing this, when I was in high school, I used to carry a dictionary in my backpack, to have with me at all times. And back in the days when dinosaurs still roamed the earth (just kidding), pocket-dictionaries were not invented yet; well, not very good ones. So, the dictionary I carried around in my backpack was - you guessed it, the large, Webster's Collegiate Dictionary. Sure it was heavy, but I didn't mind because I pulled it out often to look up the words that people were using during conversations, as well as reading it during lunch and anytime I had available. I always had it with me when I read the Bible because it seemed that I would often find myself stuck on some of the simplest words, just like I did today. Today, I got stuck on the word, "upon". To be honest, I'm not really sure what that means. And it seemed it would be greatly beneficial to look it up so that I might gain full understanding of what our Father God is trying to teach me today.

upon (preposition) - in an elevated position on¹

According to the definition of the word "upon", today's key passage makes so much more sense to me and I pray that it will bless you as well.

You see, the Prophet Isaiah, by the leading of the Holy Spirit writes that the entire earth is covered with thick darkness. It was that way then, and I know we can all testify that it is also the state of the world even now. The world is filled with wickedness, self-centered, selfish, self-absorbed, treacherous, thieving, lying, God-hating, adulterous people who are under the power and deception of Satan. Yet, the Lord speaks this wonderful truth through Isaiah in the next statement, that while this is the true state of the world, God includes a "but". I love when God does that! Unlike us, when God says, "but" He's not going to make a statement of objection, but instead a statement of hope! Isn't our awesome Father so brilliant?!

I love this second statement, that starts with "but", that goes on to tell us the promise of the hope found only in Christ Jesus our Lord, "but the LORD will arise upon you, and His glory will be seen upon you."

Did you see that?! The LORD God Himself will be in an elevated position on us (specifically, His children)! He didn't say, He might, He said He will! The magnitude of this truth humbles me as I consider that Jesus made Himself nothing; took a lowly position among us; He put Himself under us in order to lift us up so that He will be exalted; that is, elevated in our lives. And so much so, that it will be evident to all people! Wow!

This promise of the evidence of Christ's resurrected life in all believers is amazing to me! And how does that come about? It is manifested in everything we do; whether we wash dishes, scrub toilet bowls, change diapers, cook meals, feed the homeless, preach the Gospel or clothe the naked. When any of us lives solely to demonstrate our love and gratitude to God, for the Gift of Jesus, then every breath we take, is breathed for His honor and glory.

Sometimes we often think that we have to do some "big" thing for God in order to feel that our lives matter. But the truth is, nothing we do is "big" in the sight of the Great I AM. Everything we offer is small in His eyes, but is made into something extravagant when we give our all to Jesus. In Jesus' hands, all things are made new and beautiful! What opinions and thoughts have imprisoned you and kept you from believing this truth? Will you choose to praise the Lord our God in spite of how you feel and defy the chains of your mind today?

Lord God, You noticed me, when no one else did. You loved me and cared for me, when no one thought to share. I stood there, like an outsider. Just a small, frightened, little girl. Dirty, ragged, poor and afraid. I saw many children playing. They were smiling and enjoying one another's company. And they were very involved in what seemed to be a very important and exciting activity. I stood there alone, and thought to myself, "I wish I could be with them! I wish I could join and participate! But I'm too small, dirty, and poor."

Just then, the Man standing there with them motioned to me with His hand and said, "Come! Come join us!" I was humbled and began to cry as I couldn't understand why someone as wonderful as Him, would notice someone as lowly as me. Then You told me Father, that THIS is Your Son, whom You loved and gave up, so I could participate, participate in Your glorious presence and miraculous work of transforming lives.

I wish I had the proper words to express my gratitude and love to You Father, for the Gift of Jesus. But I'm afraid that my words pale in comparison to Your mighty love. So I will trust that You listen to my heart and hear my spirit sing.

You are my Maker. You are My God. You are my Jesus.
I love you.

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