Read Psalm 145
|click the photo to enlarge and read the Scripture|
It's been four weeks since I was diagnosed as being clinically and severely depressed and was prescribed Lexapro, an SSRI (selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitor) which is a type of anti-depressant.
I experienced some mild side-effects the first five days, but nothing since then, which I'm very grateful to the Lord for. My doctor said that it'll be about six weeks until I really notice a major difference, but I'm already noticing a little now. Getting out of bed isn't nearly as difficult as it used to be and neither is running some of my errands. I'm not as scared to got out in public by myself anymore and I've found ways to make dinner without overwhelming myself. I still don't make the bed often and sometimes get behind on laundry. But everyone is still well-fed, wearing clean clothes and I'm not biting everyone's head off anymore. It's a small improvement, and I'll take it.
But even prior to the meds taking effect, I had brunch with a my sweet sister-friend Jayne (a few weeks ago) and I shared with her how I knew that somehow, with the way God gifted me, that I was going to do depression a little differently. For those who know me well, me doing things a bit out of the norm will not be a shock; it's actually...expected.
God's given me the spiritual gifts of prophecy, teaching, exhortation and faith. With these gifts, though I still feel like crawling in a hole most days, I can't help but encourage and exhort others. I can't help but share God's goodness; proclaim His sovereignty and kindness towards us at all times. I can't help but speak what I have witnessed from my Lord. I just can't help it.
"for we cannot but speak of what we have seen and heard."
So to those who've been down, or are struggling with trusting God or have questions, require comfort or counsel, I just can't help but offer it to them. What's odd is, I still struggle to respond to people about daily life. But when someone's in need of the way God's gifted me, I can't help but reach out to gird them up and strengthen them. Isn't it just like our heavenly Father to use the weak, scared, confused daughter to bend down and lift up another? Of course it is. This way, it's assured that God will get all the glory and praise because it's obvious to everyone that it's all being done by the magnificent power and grace of the Lord Jesus.
"It is always upon human weakness and humiliation, not human strength and confidence, that God chooses to build His Kingdom; and that He can use us not merely in spite of our ordinariness and helplessness and disqualifying infirmities, but precisely because of them."
~James S. Stewart
May the Lamb who was slain, receive all the praise and glory for all the good He has done, is doing and will do; for He alone is worthy. Amen.