I am rebellious...




and judgmental

I am also one who has been saved by God's grace through faith in Jesus Christ alone, and not of myself, so that I may never boast. My salvation is a gift from God that was never imparted to me based on who I am or what I have ever done or will ever do [Ephesians 2:-9]. God saved my wretched and utterly sinful soul based on His righteousness alone, by His grace, His abounding compassion and unending mercy. God saved me, not because it made Him feel better or would bring any benefit to Him. For what has man ever given to God that God should owe him anything [Job 41:11]? God is God. He is fulfilled in Himself. We are not God and cannot satisfy ourselves with anything; although all of us have tried and at times; and still do [Isaiah 55:2-3].

But because I am saved by the blood of Jesus Christ, because God has granted me the gift of repentance that leads to salvation [2 Corinthians 7:10]; I am now someone I could've never made myself by my own efforts - I am, a child of the Most High God. I am, a child of the LORD God Almighty. I have been redeemed. I am set free from the captivity of my sinful flesh and its desires. I have the freedom to choose where, when and how I apply my rebelliousness, independence, laziness, hatefulness and judgmentalness. And so I choose.

I choose to:
  • rebel against every thought, every imagination, every supposition, every argument and every idea that opposes God according to His Word. [2 Corinthians 10:5-6]
  • be independent from needing others to pay attention to me, feel sorry for me and serve me because of my trials; for the LORD God is the one who allowed these trials in my life for my sanctification and I choose to find my joy in Christ alone so that I might serve others instead of seeking to be served. [1 Thessalonians 4:11-12, Psalm 40:16, Romans 8:28-30, Mark 10:45]
  • apply my laziness to bitterness, gossip and slander. I choose to be so lazy in these areas that I will not even entertain wicked thoughts in my mind or bitterness in my heart so that no corrupt talk flows out of my mouth - especially towards my brothers and sisters in Christ [Ephesians 4:29-32, Matthew 15:18, Galatians 6:10]. I choose instead to love the unlovable, give grace to the unkind and impart mercy to those who have wronged me; for this is how the Lord has treated me [Luke 6:35-36].
  • hate all that is evil and cling to all that is good; therefore I will hate every sin within my members and love others as Christ has loved me [Romans 12:9, Romans 7:23-25, John 15:12].
  • impart judgment only to discern between good and evil, not to condemn or curse another person who has been made in the image of God, but instead to speak out against evil and injustice poured out upon others; without looking for it to be returned to me. I will judge and examine myself daily, to see whether or not my thoughts and actions are in accordance with God's Word [Hebrews 5:14, James 3:9-10, Proverbs 31:8-9, 1 Corinthians 5:13, Lamentations 3:40, 2 Corinthians 13:5] .
His [God's] divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us to His own glory and excellence, by which He has granted to us His precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control, with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you for being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins. Therefore, brothers, be all the more diligent to make your calling and elections sure, for if you practice these qualities you will never fall. For in this way there will be richly provided for you an entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Therefore I intend always to remind you of these qualities, though you know them and are established in the truth that you have.
~ 2 Peter 1:3-12

Gracious and most merciful Father in heaven, hallowed by Your holy name! I thank You for allowing me to speak with You without being utterly destroyed. Thank You Father for allowing me to be in Your holy presence by the blood of Your Son, Jesus Christ. Thank You LORD for calling me to Yourself and making me a part of Your royal priesthood.

Thank You Father for taking my strong-willed rebellious, independent, lazy, hateful and judgmental nature and using it for Your glory and not mine. For when You are glorified LORD, all creation benefits, but when I am glorified Father no one, including me, benefits; instead when I am glorified, evil befalls myself and all those around me. In Your hands, controlled by Your Spirit, my rebelliousness, independence, laziness, hatefulness and judgmental attitude is used to fight against my wicked flesh and turn me to Your holiness; but in my hands, all these things are used to destroy my very being as well as those around me. Thank You Lord for taking them in Your hands and controlling them by Your Holy Spirit.

Thank You Lord from saving me from my wicked flesh, Your wrath and from Hell. Thank You Jesus for setting me free. Keep me from using my freedom in You to do as I please. Keep me O Lord from all that grieves Your heart and make me a daughter who brings only joy and gladness to Your Spirit.

May Your name alone be exalted and forever be praised! Hallelujah!